Doctor will remove body part from fat teacher in burka

I taught a class of young teenagers last week that I hadn't taught in a few months. We were becoming pretty good friends before I was taken off the class, and when I finally returned, the class dynamic had changed. Now there are only two girls in the class of 11 students, and one is new. One or two of the boys are new as well. The new girl was friendly and chatty, and quickly became concerned about my weight and a scab on the side of my head. The scab is the remains of a big lesion that was removed by laser. Anyway, when I had students write five sentences with "should" and "shouldn't", the new girl gave me the business:
1. Teacher John should lose weight and have a good body.
2. Teacher John shouldn't eat so much and be so big.
I'm glad this girl didn't see me when I was eating Vietnamese donuts every day. Or see the lesion on my head before the laser treatment. Several staffers where I worked asked about the scab on my head as well. I'm considering wearing a burka (burqa?) so I don't have to field questions about my face or body, both sensitive subjects for the White Monkey.
Being confined in a small area is also a sensitive subject for the White Monkey. That's where I found myself when I got stuck in the elevator at work recently. I never take the elevator, however on this day I was running just a little bit late (because the copy machine was struggling) and I was teaching on the fifth floor. So I joined a couple of kids who were taking the elevator to the second floor. When they got off, the doors closed and everything stopped working. The elevator didn't move and the doors wouldn't open. I was worried the elevator would plummet to the lower levels and damage the White Monkey. I called the front desk and the girl who answered had no idea what "stuck in the elevator on the second floor" meant. She handed the phone to an intern who "translates" for the front desk girls, and I think he asked what location I was in -- we have three or four branches. After much discussion, we decided I was in the same building as he was. A very nice man who does a little bit of everything at the school showed up with a crowbar and eventually pried the doors open. I was in the very, very warm elevator for 18 minutes -- I timed the whole affair. The students laughed at me -- and with me -- about the incident when I finally showed up to teach. Another day at the office.
I haven't had a cigarette for more than six and a half months, and what I saw the other day makes me so happy I quit. At the beginning of my walk near our house, a man was holding a young baby with a lit cigarette in his mouth. I presume it's his son. When I returned from the walk, I saw the same man holding the same baby with another lit cigarette in his mouth. I was gone an hour, so this guy could have smoked a bunch of cigarettes in that time with a baby in his arms. Even in my worst smoking days, I can't recall ever holding a lit butt and baby at the same time. Maybe my ex-wife could produce a videotape of me smoking during child care. If she does, I'll feel like Donald Trump.
Phuong, Joanna and I are going to the hospital in Ho Chi Minh City tomorrow so I can get my gall bladder removed. I've got some real stones ... in my gall bladder ... and I've been in much pain lately. I've learned to embrace pain after my two motorbike accidents, but the stones are causing pain in my stomach, back, and other places not worth mentioning. After the mini-surgery, I want the doctor to give me the gall bladder and stones so I can put them in jar and take them to class for show and tell.
I wonder what the teenage girl would write then:
Fat Teacher John shouldn't bring his disgusting body parts and stones to class.
Doctors should cut more out of Teacher John so he isn't  fat.
I booked my plane ticket to the U.S. today. Of course, my wife and daughter won't be coming with me. We've hired an attorney who will deal with the Embassy. Phuong was completely truthful throughout the visa application process. It'll take time, but we have nothing to hide or fear.