The most difficult part of having my gallbladder removed was being separated from my daughter Joanna. Everything is happening with her now -- she's three months and one week old. She baby babbles at everyone; she can kick like a mule; she has a great smile, giggle and belly laugh; and she uses her hands to grab toys and my glasses. I missed all that for four days last week when doctors in Ho Chi Minh City poked, prodded, tested and eventually sliced and diced the White Monkey to remove a sack of stones next to my liver that was impersonating a gallbladder. The process was a little too long but the doctors and nurses were competent enough. I went to the hospital on a Monday, was sent away, returned Tuesday for some testing, had more testing and waiting on Wednesday, surgery on Thursday, and finally, more waiting on Friday. Most unpleasant was when the nurse stuck a quarter-inch wide, 3-foot long plastic tube up my nose and then gagging-ly guided it down my throat and into my stomach. The tube stayed there 12 hours -- before, during and after surgery -- and was quite uncomfortable. Another challenge was my noisy roommates, two loud, talkative women who turned on a bright spotlight at 3 a.m. for god knows why. I also had to shave my chest and stomach with a cheap razor that left about 11 cuts on my torso.
Phuong was incredible throughout the entire process. She acted as translator, facilitator, nurse, doctor, counselor, accountant and dietician. Of course, she never stopped being an incredible and caring mom for Joanna. I couldn't live without Phuong and every day I thank God she's in my life. And Phuong made sure to get my gall stones from the doctor after the surgery so I could share an image of them with all my Facebook friends, whether they liked it or not. I love that woman so much. Phuong's mom and dad were also there, getting food and drinks, watching Joanna, and being supportive in every way possible.
I'll have three small scars on my stomach where a tiny camera and cutting tools were inserted into the White Monkey to remove the bladder. The pain is fairly minimal -- nothing like the last two motorbike accidents. And as I noted on Facebook, the pain that has been dogging my back, shoulder and ribs for more than a year is gone.
Right before surgery, while under the pleasant influence of drugs, I started thinking of all the puns I would use in my blog (for the benefit of legendary punsters Lucy Baker and Andy Vincent). I thought of stuff like listing my new favorites -- actors: Rock Hudstone and Stoney Curtis; activity: getting stoned; drink: anything on the rocks; TV show: The Flintstones; city: Boulder;. and movie: Rocky.
I'm sure my diet will adjust to no gallbladder, as will my body. Everyone says cut down on fatty foods, which are my favorite, but otherwise, it's business as usual. Phuong is a great cook and she'll take care of the White Monkey. Since I'm returning to the U.S. soon, I want to be able to eat some of that great, greasy American food that my bloated body has been missing for the past year, and drink a few quality beers with my buds.
And most of all, I want to see my children, who I miss so much while living here. I'll eventually get my wife Phuong and daughter Joanna to the U.S. where they can meet my children Jessica, Caroline, Jack and Alec. Phuong and Alec met earlier this year and hit if off super well. I can't wait for everyone to get together. Let's rock!
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