I don't like to admit it, but I know I've said things and engaged in conduct that I now consider racist. The killing of George Floyd has brought the world's attention to the issues and problems that people of color must face. These are problems I've never had to deal with. I don't consider myself racist. Nobody does. But when I reflect on what I've said, especially my ill-advised and lame attempts at "racial" humor, and how I view the world through white lenses, it's clear to me I've made mistakes and that I have a problem. I need to consider the impact of my words and actions on those around me, white and non-white. Here's an easy contrast: Comedian Dave Chappelle has the genius to deliver a serious message within edgy racial humor. I just have a big white mouth. I grew up in a family that considered black people almost alien beings. They didn't use the N-word, but they had a whole slew of other derogatory terms beyond "colored" or "black." Sure, I would chastise my parents for this. But looking back, my confrontations were due in part to the contentious relationship I had with my parents on every issue. I will give my dad some credit; at age 94 he became an ardent supporter of Barrack Obama. The fact my dad was a hard-core Democrat contributed to his late awakening, but I detected a sincere admiration of Obama. I shared that admiration of Obama and still admire him. Actually, I really miss his leadership, especially with the leadership we have today. Race is a difficult and touchy subject to discuss. But the only way to deal with difficult and touchy issues is to get them out in the open, discuss them, and ultimately take positive action. What action? Hopefully, that will come out of the discussions among people of all races.
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There are a couple of personal streaks that I'll note: I've read 185 straight days and I haven't had a drink of alcohol for more than six months. I used to drink beer or whatever every night before bed and other times of day. That's been replaced with reading. I've read more than 25 books by Jack Vance, mostly science fiction and a few mysteries. His sci-fi books are, well, out of this world.
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Joanna is enrolled in pre-school and, quite honestly, it's been rough going. She doesn't like wearing a uniform or taking instruction of any kind. Thankfully, the administration, teachers and teachers' aides have shown amazing patience with Joanna. She comes by her difficulties in school quite honestly. I was a lousy student, a discipline issue and a knucklehead in general in school. She can do the work and she has the intellect, but she gets bored really fast and goes way off-task. I remember those days. I can't thank the school enough for their work and patience with Joanna. I want to address these issues now rather than when she's 7 or 8 years old ... or older.
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I'm fighting some kind of illness -- no fever or dry cough, but my sinuses are a mess. It's an annual event for me, the ex-smoker, but with coronavirus in the air, I'm a bit cautious and mildly concerned. We take our temperatures all the time and I inhale vitamin C. I walk Joanna to school every morning and afternoon and pick her up as well. Schools are breeding grounds for viruses and facilitate their spread, which, of course, is why they've been closed so long and so often during the coronavirus pandemic. Since my energy level isn't any lower than usual, I'll keep my fingers crossed and my mask on.
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