The Tet Holiday season is here and with it comes increased traffic, excessive shopping, gross overeating, and increased prices. Tet is like Christmas and New Year's rolled into one. It's also known as the Lunar New Year and celebrates spring and the coming year. It lasts about a week and consists primarily of overeating and over-drinking. There's family visitation with lots of overeating and over-drinking. Sound familiar? This year, I've noticed the traffic is more dangerous due to the increased number of cars. Each year I see more cars on the road as Vietnam experiences economic growth -- primarily from making high-quality "Make America Great Again" caps that are sold in the United States.
I've said it before -- car drivers have a motorbike mentality. They cut in front of other vehicles and pedestrians, they rip out of side streets onto the main roads without so much as a glance toward oncoming traffic, and generally have little regard for anyone's life but their own. And with Vietnam's nonchalant attitude toward drinking and driving, the danger factor is more frightening with more cars on the road. When people here aren't on motorbikes or behind the wheel of a car, they're hospitable and genuine. Unfortunately, most people spend lots of time on their bikes.
Our very important documents that we paid a lot of money to send to Cleveland, Ohio, were never delivered by courier service EMS. That's EMS. However, the documents were returned to us last week and we're trying again with FedEx. EMS hasn't returned our money and we probably have a better chance of getting locals to stop staring at me than we do of getting a refund. But if FedEx can find my lawyer's office in Cleveland, located near Quicken Loans Arena where the Cavaliers play, I'll eat the $40 or so EMS took from us. I'm sure EMS needs the money more than Phuong, Joanna and I do. Phuong got on the phone with an EMS representative in Hanoi and she asked Phuong if Kathleen Fish was her husband in Cleveland. Actually, Kathleen, who goes by Katie, is my lawyer. She's a wonderful person and really seems to have our best interests at heart.
The English language is a big, big problem for folks here. It's understandable, because Vietnamese is a big, big problem for me. People usually contort their faces when I try to speak even the most rudimentary of Vietnamese phrases, and then they'll correct me by repeating exactly what I said in the exact same tones I used. So these days, I contort my face when a Vietnamese person speaks English to me, regardless of how clear it is, and then I'll "correct" them with the proper pronunciation. I'll do this with all words, including "Hi" or "Bye".
A neighborhood kid said "Hey, mother-f----, what the f---?" to me in clear English as I got home from a stressful ride in Bien Hoa traffic after a stressful day of teaching. I threatened to slap his face if he ever said f--- to me again. He ran away. I'll have Phuong talk to his mom. He's the second kid to do this to me in the past few months. I don't think these kids would do this to Vietnamese men. I'm sure many of those guys would hit the kids, and the kids know it.
I have some time off work because of Tet, so I've decided it's a wonderful holiday after all. I'll spend even more time with Joanna, who is quite mobile now. She rolled off the bed (on purpose) last week and hit her head so hard on our matted floor that she just lay there motionless with eyes open for about 20 seconds. Clearly stunned, she was pretty cautious for the next hour or so. Then she smacked her head into the wall the next day while playing. Same stunned reaction, same recovery. She and Phuong are tough, which is yet another reason why I love both of them so much.
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