The process was difficult. Phuong shared a bed with another pregnant woman. They were in a room with 38 other pregnant women and their families. Phuong's cervix didn't dilate in time despite a painful process to prepare her for a natural delivery. When doctors couldn't force the cervix open after her water broke, a caesarean section was performed.
Despite the difficulties and challenges, the end result was perfect. Phuong is OK and we have a healthy baby girl. Joanna Pham Millman was delivered at 6:20 p.m. on July 9. I found out by watching a TV screen, where new births would pop up and list mom, mom's age, baby's weight, time of birth, and baby's sex.
I wanted a girl and I got my wish. I have two daughters in the United States -- Jessica and Caroline -- and they're both talented, successful, kind and caring young women. I know Joanna will be the same.
Fathers aren't a big part of the birthing process in Vietnam. Phuong's mother was the primary caretaker, and I was asked -- make that told -- to leave the room when Phuong was being examined or cleaned. Nobody I had contact with could speak any significant English, including Phuong's mom. We checked in Thursday and the baby was delivered on Saturday evening. I never spoke or had any meaningful exchanges with a doctor or nurse the entire time. I saw Phuong for about 20 minutes Saturday morning before she was carted away. I never spoke with her or saw her through the decision-making (on the c-section) or birthing process. I got to see the baby for five minutes about two hours after she was delivered, and then I was told to sign a paper and come back later. I got to bond with Joanna and see my wife the next day. The hospital wasn't overly friendly, but it's crazy busy because of its reputation for prenatal care. For me, Joanna and Phuong are beautiful and special, so I couldn't be happier.
Phuong is doing quite well, considering she had a major surgery (36 percent of births in Vietnam are by c-section, according to NBCNews.com). Phuong and Joanna have begun breastfeeding, and that provides its own challenges and frustrations. But I know Phuong and Joanna will persevere.
Nurses, family and friends say Joanna looks like me. Well, she can have some of my features, but I sure hope she doesn't LOOK LIKE ME. Babies change so much that it's hard for me to tell who they resemble. Health and happiness will mean a hell of a lot more than looks as Joanna gets older. I would prefer that she looks more like Phuong than the White Monkey, but again, as long as she's happy and healthy, life is wonderful.
Phuong says we now have a little diamond in our life. I already had a big diamond in my life with Phuong. I feel like a very rich man these days, and it has nothing to do with money.
I got to spend a little time in Ho Chi Minh City, and I didn't like it. There are way too many motorbikes, way too many food stands on the sidewalks that force you to walk in the street and almost get hit by the way too many motorbikes, and way too many shady characters everywhere. I walked up to a coffee shop in the morning and before I could get inside a girl came striding toward me saying "No, no, no!" and giving me that god-forsaken hand wave in the face. As I walked away I saw that the coffee shop also had a "massage" parlor in the back and was packed with men, who I'm guessing were johns waiting for their tricks. One of the "johns" stared at me like he wanted to kill me. I don't think he's a real coffee lover.
One place I loved in HCMC was a French bakery next to our hospital. Tous les Jours had tremendous fresh baked pastries and a pretty good cappuccino. I went there two or three times a day. Their smoothie machine was broken, but I haven't found a working smoothie machine in Vietnam yet. The staff at Tous les Jours did speak a little English, and were very friendly. I highly recommend it.
Finally, I want to thank everyone who congratulated Phuong, Joanna and I on Facebook or by email. I'm happy to bring Joanna into a world that has so many kind and thoughtful people. Thanks again, everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment