Call me a taxi.
OK, White Monkey, you're a taxi.
Sorry for the lousy humor but my motorbike is for sale, with the profits going to a good cause: my father-in-law who has been going to the pharmacy for me daily to buy painkiller.
Yes, I had my second motorbike accident in six weeks, another rib-crushing, hip-smashing, elbow-burning spectacular on Vo Thi Sau, one of the main streets in Bien Hoa. The accident occurred at about 7:20 p.m. as I was scurrying between classes on my job. I was riding from one site to another to teach when a woman pushed her bicycle loaded down with candy into my path as I went around a couple of cars. I hit the bike and flew over the handlebars onto my back in the street. I was told the woman lay down on the street during the accident. (Actually, after I finished my first class I was in a hurry and forgot to put on my helmet as I started up Vo Thi Sau on my bike. I realized my mistake, pulled over, put on the helmet, and crashed about 45 seconds later.) Back to the accident: I lay on the road screaming the f-word (sorry, students) because of the pain. Loads of locals came out from nearby restaurants to help me and see the carnage. They tried to pull me to my feet right away, which I refused. I needed to catch my breath, deal with the pain and continue screaming the f-word. I eventually got to the sidewalk and thought I had killed the woman with the bicycle. Three men were carrying her to a cab, presumably to take her lifeless body to the morgue. By this time, I would estimate the crowd at the scene to be about 150. I stood alone in something of a state of shock, and then some co-workers and bosses from my school, VMG, showed up. A man approached me and urged me to talk to the woman I crashed with. She was alive, after all, and didn't go to the hospital. She wanted money. I called my wife Phuong, who arrived three minutes later with her brother and father. Phuong was absolutely amazing. When she approached the scene, the crowd got the hell out of her way. She was like Moses parting the Red Sea. She immediately checked on the White Monkey. I was good enough, so Phuong turned her attention to the "victim." Phuong literally chased away a couple of women who were telling the "victim" how much money to ask for. Phuong gave the woman two options: X amount of money, or we all go to the hospital together. Phuong wanted to close down this circus and send the crowd home. The woman wanted more money, but the police told her to back off and take what was offered ... or go to the hospital. The woman wanted no parts of a hospital because, really, there was nothing they could do for her at this point. She took her money (it doesn't matter who's at fault when the White Money, I mean Monkey, is involved) and everyone went their way, including the victim.
A big thanks to VMG, which is very understanding when I keep calling in sick. Funny thing is, I hate missing class (and being late). A big thanks to the staffers who stopped to express their concern. But for me, Phuong was amazing. She cleared the crowd, dealt with the knuckleheads, and got me the hell out of there. After the accident, two witnesses said the crash was all the woman's fault. But no one at the scene stood up for the White Monkey. Finally, I urge all bike riders to wear a helmet. My head was bouncing on the street like it was being dribbled like a basketball. No helmet and I would have been looking at some serious brain salad surgery.
My bank, U.S. Bank, has shut down my ATM card, leaving the White Monkey with no access to his money. The bank issued new cards with a security chip. I called the bank a month ago requesting my card not be shut off when the new cards became effective. (Mail can be difficult to receive in Vietnam). The guy assured me that U.S. Bank wouldn't shut down my card. ..... pants on fire. Skype reacted by suspending my phone payments. I had an account which let me call the cell phones of family and friends.
I've had better weeks.
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