Big news and other musings

We're into our new house, but not without the usual trials and tribulations that I've learned to be patient with here. Construction workers were doing finishing work while we were living here. We had to tell them to not smoke in the house and snuff out their cigarette butts on our new tile floors. And, of course, they wanted to sleep on our living room floor from 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. every day -- nap time in Vietnam. The cigarette butts didn't seem to bother them while they napped. But they were nice enough folk, and, after several tries, finished the job mostly to our satisfaction. They did turn off our cold water one time for some unknown reason and all of our water was hot enough to make coffee from the tap. Really. The shower was especially challenging. After a week or so of nonsense like this, the job was done and we've settled in.
The house is built for Vietnamese people, of course, which means I've cracked my head half a dozen times on shelves and cabinets. I slammed my head above my right eye so hard on the corner of a glass shelf -- that Phuong wanted put up -- that I went down and was almost out for the count. There's a little golf-ball-sized lump above my right eye, but no big deal.
I got a massage today and the massage girl didn't understand -- or care -- that the little lump on my head hurt when she applied intense pressure to it with her thumb and index finger.
After church service on Sundays, Phuong and I stand on the balcony overlooking the parking lot and wait for the insane motorbike traffic (and riders) to clear out. While we were waiting last week, we watched (only for a second or two) as two boys about 10 years old peed on the side of the church. I understand when you gotta go, you gotta go, but there was a restroom less than 50 feet away.
There's no point in keeping a secret any longer. Phuong has a really big belly. Either she's been drinking boat-loads of beer, or she's pregnant. The answer is "B" since Phuong only shares a beer with me once in a while, and I'm drinking one beer at a time only once in a while. Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway: We're thrilled. The first three months were unpleasant for Phuong. She had morning sickness daily, and local doctors misdiagnosed her with a 50-50 chance for having rubella, which is very bad news for a yet-to-be-born baby. She went to a Ho Chi Minh City hospital and was pronounced healthy. She's feeling much better now and eating and sleeping and cleaning lots. We're anxious, of course, given my very advanced age. And this is Phuong's first baby. But so far, so good.
We're doing the paperwork to get married, and the paperwork is quite daunting. There have been multiple trips to the courthouse, and I have to try to get U.S. documents stamped at the U.S. Embassy in Ho Chi Minh City so local officials will accept them. We had to go to the local mental hospital last week to prove we were sane. Phuong passed and they let me slide. They tested my IQ, and I cheated on the test and tallied a 107 IQ. I guess I'm not as stupid as I look, which contradicts what Sister Alvernia screamed at me in front of the entire student body at St. Mary Magdalen about 54 years ago. But I'm not one to hold a grudge. The White Monkey is becoming patient, persistent and ... forgiving.