On Thursday, my son Alec and I chatted for over 45 minutes on Skype, and it was so refreshing and invigorating to talk about stuff I'm familiar with -- American football and Geno Smith getting his jaw broken in a locker room encounter; the pathetic Phillies; the Dodgers; and Ohio State academics. Alec will graduate from Ohio State this December, and I'm so, so, so proud of how he persevered and worked numerous jobs as he went to school. I can't wait to see Alec this December when I return to the U.S. In fact, I can't wait to see all of my family and friends. (Happy birthday Jessica, my awesome daughter. Hey Caroline, hey Jack, my other two awesome children.) Phuong's parents live close by, so it's not an issue for her. She talks with family every day. And really, she can talk with all the other folk in town because she's very outgoing, and of course, she speaks their language. My Vietnamese is somewhere below grunt level, so really I have no one to talk to other than Phuong and my friend teacher Joy. That can get rough sometimes because once every three months or so, I might have something intelligent to say. Well, maybe not, but it is a bit lonesome not to rap about the crap I'm used to rapping about with friends and family. I talked to my friend Ron as well on Skype, and I'm reminded of what a good friend and listener he is. He listens to my crap and takes care of my angry, shedding, hairball puking, vicious, flea-ridden cat. I'm going to put RW -- Ron's initials -- on my tombstone, if I don't end up in the Dong Nai River. Really, it's the least I can do.
Our house is still for sale, I guess, because lots of creepy people show up unannounced and look in our front door while we're watching TV or having dinner or whatever. The White Monkey feels like he's in a zoo. The owner showed up one morning with potential buyers just as we came home from tennis. She wanted to take the potential buyers though the house. This was the second time she's pulled this stunt. Phuong is very patient and understanding, and asked if it was OK for the crowd to go though our house. The White Monkey went ballistic. I started shrieking, beat my chest, and was prepared to expose my buttocks, which were bright red at this point. I explained to Phuong in agitated English that I don't want visitors showing up unannounced and looking in our closets and even worse, in our bathroom. I was extra pissed off because Phuong beat me in tennis that day. The owner saw my aggressive display and immediately left. The customers understood and said good-bye. We're moving next month.
Speaking of aggressive displays, I inadvertently made a big scene at tennis this week. Like I've said, most of the guys get it now -- they avoid the White Monkey and Phuong while we're playing. But a new guy -- shirtless and tattooed (not that there's anything wrong with tattoos -- two of my kids have them) -- walked across our court twice during our match and then sat courtside and shouted with a buddy on the other side of the court while we were playing. When he stood on a boundary line for our court while we were finishing a match, I tried to defuse things. I got down on my knees and pleadingly said "lam on, lam on," which I thought meant please. Everyone acted shocked, including Phuong. I was later told that what I did amounts to a declaration of war with him and his family and friends ... or something like that. I still don't entirely understand the ramifications of what I did, other than the fact that I think I would have been better off pissing on his uncle's grave. He chilled out and all seemed well to me. I guess the White Monkey is very well known on the local tennis circuit.
I'll quickly mention one traffic incident I was involved in ... I'm riding my bike in the usually blocked turn lane, heading toward a green light, when a guy carrying a kid steps right in front of me. Of course I hit him and the kid, but neither hit the ground. He was crossing and came out from behind a truck into my path. But no one believes the White Monkey. Fortunately, he kind of chuckled and went on his oblivious way.
Our favorite supermarket in Bien Hoa, Metro, seems to be sliding a little. They stopped carrying Tabasco sauce and the air conditioner wasn't on today, which made for some really hot shopping.
Phuong and I will be celebrating the one-year anniversary of our engagement next month. The best year of my life, even with the tennis shenanigans and traffic. Phuong is the most amazing and understanding woman in the world. She has to be -- she accepts the White Monkey, even though she doesn't care for that moniker. I love you Phuong. Happy anniversary!
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