Words for the wise

The misconception here among a handful of shop owners and other folk is that I´m the White Money, not the White Monkey. If they only knew. But instead of sitting by idly while a few shops overcharge me and others talk about me in Vietnamese when I´m standing in front of them, I´ve actually taken some sort of action. I´ve begun ´´learning´´ the language with YouTube tutorials (Donna is quite nice and doesn´t laugh at me when I try). It´s helped. I can count to 100, name the days of the week, and ask how you´re doing. The intonation and pronunciation are still difficult and will always be, but at least I´m in the neighborhood with some very basic Vietnamese. Just like Peru, people don´t care that you´re clueless, and they talk fast and in the local vernacular. And they´re very impatient when you don´t pick something up right away or pronounce words incorrectly (it´s not easy being a teacher, is it?). But I know charades is hopeless for whatever reason. I point to shoelaces and I´m sold a bra. Are my boobs drooping that low? So that´s why I force people here to listen to my godawful Vietnamese and correct me if they´re so inclined. Interestingly, locals don´t always agree on how to pronounce something, and they´ll argue among themselves quite adamantly about their position. Whatever. Just don´t rip me off and talk about me, unless it´s nice like Donna. I actually believe some people appreciate that I´m trying to adapt. They´re only charging me twice as much instead of three times as much. Just kidding. Some people have told me not to bother learning the language and that no one will ever understand me. Could be, but ignorance isn´t really bliss in this case, and learning words and phrases gives me something to do while I wait for classes to start again in February. Knowledge is good.
I had the wrong day for the Tet holiday, which I want to blame on traveling across the International Date Line but can´t since that doesn´t make any sense. I blame jet lag and no brain. Two days after arriving here, I thought I´d take a nap at 4 in the afternoon and woke up the next day -- 16 hours later. Tet is Friday, I think. I´ve been warned to stay off the roads tonight as people celebrate. Just like New Year´s, when too many people get drunk and drive -- and shouldn´t.
As I´ve said before, the vast, vast majority of people here are extremely kind and generous. They seem even a little nicer this time around. Perhaps they appreciate that I returned. Nah, what the hell am I thinking? There are some folks from other parts of the world drawn to the pretty women here. I´m no threat in that regard and I´ve made my intentions quite clear that I´m here to teach and learn the culture, and no more.
I already miss my kids, but they´re all so busy that we had to scramble to get together when I was in the U.S. Hey, the weather is great here right now. It´s not too hot, and actually gets a tiny bit cool (60s sometimes) at night. Eat your heart out East Coast.
I won´t show off and drop any Vietnamese on you. I´ll just say I can´t wait to teach and see the students again.
I also want to thank my brother Tom and his wife Shaila for letting the White Monkey crash at their pad and eat all their fruit.