Top of the class

Life doesn't get much better when you have students like I have. The group I've had since I arrived in Arequipa finally finished the English language program here with a class called Fluency. We celebrated their graduation of sorts, and our friendship, by going out to lunch for chicharon. They gave me a present, a wonderful keepsake, picked up the lunch tab and said their goodbyes. I admit to getting a little emotional. Every one of those students became a friend, and I'll miss the hell out of them. Another class, the TEFL group I teach on Saturdays, took me out to lunch for ceviche the week before. Yes, ceviche. It was awesome. We went to a place where I was the only gringo in sight. One of the students, Rossmery, aptly observed that all the locals were "looking at the gringo with the four goddesses." They also bought me a cheesecake and I ate the whole thing in three days. (It's a lighter cheese than the U.S. variety.) My night class, which I managed to hang onto for another month, is younger, livelier, and enjoyable as well. They love movies, they hate my dancing (which I use as punishment when a cell phone goes off), and they're all very bright. A fun bunch. These are friendships for a lifetime.
There's a new ASS. director here and two other new bosses, with some new rules and regulations. I wish them the best. I will remain focused on my teaching, which I love.
The other day I ended up on the hood of some douche bag's car. OK, I'll call him Mr. Douchebag out of respect. I was walking between two cars stuck in a massive traffic jam and Mr. Douchebag felt compelled to close the three-foot gap between his car and the car in front of him. I was the monkey in the middle and I had to leap on the hood of his car so my legs wouldn't get crushed. That really upset Mr. Douchebag, who started screaming and gesturing at me. I gave him the universal symbol of displeasure, and he kept screaming and pretending like he wanted to get out the car.  He never did. He was too fat. Didn't matter because I'm in too good of a mood these days.
One of things I really miss from the USA is hot showers. I've had one or two since I've been here. I'm used to cold showers in the morning, and boy do I hit the day running, but every once in a while a long soaker in hot, hot water would be really nice. Also miss milkshakes, but you can get smoothies pretty much anywhere in Arequipa.
One of downers here is the smell of piss on every wall.  Every wall is a urinal, including the one outside my apartment. That gets old. I come out of my apartment to go buy yogurt and some clown is peeing two feet from my door. The smell is everywhere some days, especially in the sketchier parts of town.
Last Thursday was a little rough. No family Thanksgiving dinner. Really missed everyone on my favorite holiday. First one I've missed in many, many, many years. I missed cooking, and I even missed cleaning up afterward. Next year that tradition will resume.
Got really cloudy and windy today, but the streak is intact. Still hasn't rained since I've been here. Got some nice shots from the International Club, which makes the best pisco sour in town, in my opinion. Sitting by the Rio Chili drinking piscos at a classy restaurant ... great students .... good food ... great weather. I can handle cold showers and piss odor.

A day at the beyatch

There's no faster way to shed pounds than a good case of dysentery. I'm living proof. The pounds are melting off and all I do is sit. I've been on this "diet" for at least three days now, and other than exhaustion and incredible intestinal discomfort, I'm finding the results amazing. Knocked a notch or two off the belt, and even my socks are more comfortable. I began this unintended crash and burn diet with a trip last weekend to Mollendo, a beach town due west of Arequipa. Mollendo is a small town of about 3,000, and it has all the charm of ringworm. Buses for Mollendo leave Arequipa every hour, and it's a cheap trip, so to speak -- about S/.10 one way -- or $3.30 U.S. The bus ride is like taking a rover over  lunar landscape. It's brown, hot, mountainous, desolate and, guess what?, it's boring. I didn't hear a single conversation on the bus for the three-hour ride. The movie on the way over was Cast Away, which I like, so that helped.  (Wilson, Wilson, Wilson!!!!) Oddly, the bus would drop people off along the way in god-forsaken, uninhabited, parched places where I didn't see dwellings of any kind. But some lady wearing way too many traditional clothes and carrying a huge bundle of something or other would get off the bus and trudge off into god knows where. Amazing. I took a cab from Mollendo's bus station (50 centos to use the bathroom) to the beach for S/.5. The driver showed me the hot spots along the way -- a market and town center. The main beach area had umbrellas and chairs set up, which seemed nice. I settled under one and this lady with a small girl comes up to me speaking rapid and clearly unfriendly Spanish. The girl is kicking sand on my backpack while the lady grabs the stem of my umbrella, and, honest to god, rolls her dentures around in her mouth with her tongue while glaring at me. Turns out you have to pay $/.5 for the umbrella, and I guess she was the hired muscle. I wasn't about to argue. I fell asleep for a bit, the earth kept rotating, and I got a fantastic sunburn. I tried to go swimming, and entered the roughest, most dangerous surf that I've ever encountered. Rougher than California, Maine, Canada, anywhere. I was in up to my shins and almost got sucked out to my death by undertow so fierce that I can't describe it. It pulls you off your feet -- and I'm only out to my shins. (Actually, there's a controversial Peruvian film called Undertow, but I digress.) The waves were too high to even approach. Once I turned toward shore to make sure my stuff was still at the S/.5 umbrella, and I got slammed to the sand by a rogue wave. Crazy and dangerous. Of course, I was the only one in water above the ankles. After an exhilarating six minutes in the water, I loafed around the beach for a bit and then started walking toward town. Along the way, I bumped into one of my ESL students, and I got a ride to a restaurant for what turned out to be a fateful encounter. I ordered from the menu and the waitress couldn't understand me. I was pointing to the menu, and apparently, she couldn't understand my finger. I got some kind of sketchy fish ceviche, which was gross at best, and then sat in the town center watching an endless parade of taxis ride in a circle. The beautiful weather in the morning and early afternoon had now turned cloudy and a bit chilly. That went well with the sunburn. On the bus ride back to Arequipa (with one of the Fast and Furious movies), I started to feel a little uneasy. The ceviche. I've been uneasy since, although I visited the farmacia last night and I'm sure they'll set me right. To make matters worse, I forgot my camera, so there's no pictures to capture my enchanted trip to the beach. I'll try to post a picture of tonight's dinner instead. Bon appetit!