Working for a waiver to get U.S. visa; speaking English

We have started the waiver process after coming to terms with my wife's latest rejection for a visa to enter the United States. Basically, now I have to prove hardship in my life without my wife, Phuong, for her to have a chance at  a visa. Hardship doesn't even begin to express the sadness, anguish, loneliness, and depression our children and I would endure without Phuong in our lives. I really wouldn't be quite as stressed and focused on the visa process if it wasn't for our children, especially Joanna. She's an American citizen (as is our 11-month-old son Elijah), and she looks American, thinks American, and speaks American. She needs to be in the United States with her mom and dad and brother. She's chosen to speak English, which seems to upset some locals.  Our next-door neighbor, who hasn't spoken to me or even looked me in the eye for the seven years I've lived here, snapped in a very sharp tone, "Vietnamese, Vietnamese," at Joanna this week when she started talking in English about halibut being a good fish to eat.  I fired back in an equally sharp tone "tieng Anh, tieng Anh." Other people, like random folk at the park or coffee shop, act appalled when I say that Joanna basically refuses to speak much Vietnamese. She understands a lot but speaks very little. I believe this was an issue for her during a 6-month stint at a local school here. There were other issues, but that was certainly a big one. One of the first questions I'll get about Joanna is "Can she speak Vietnamese?"  That's fine but the reaction of horror when I say not much -- followed by the "Why not?" -- goads me a little. But most people get it when I explain that I teach her every day and we spend so much time together. And I honestly believe she resists speaking Vietnamese because she knows I don't understand much of it.  Vietnamese is not an easy language to learn and I'm not really aware of any qualified teachers. Besides, the hand wave along with "cai nay" cover my needs. Back to the waiver ...  it'll be a time-consuming process and stressful, but I'll do everything I can to improve the lives of my wife and children.
• • •
I would like to return to the U.S. to get my driver's license renewed, see my eye doctor and maybe tie up some loose ends in the god-forbidden event we can't get the visa for my wife, but the Covid resurgence makes air travel problematic. I get sick whenever I fly anyway, and came down with pneumonia a couple of years back after a flight. I would bring Joanna with me since we're inseparable, but I don't want her getting ill, and with Joanna and Elijah being typical kids in many ways, I really can't afford to be real sick or worse.  It's a long flight that would be tough on Joanna, but I've learned that if you tell her what's coming and what's expected ahead of time in real detail, she gets it and acts appropriately ... usually. Our gang of four has been mildly sick the past week with runny noses and coughs ever since rainy season got off to an early start.  Elijah is cute, Frankenstein-style walking all over the house with his runny nose. He stays pretty much in a good mood even with the nose faucet turned on. Joanna and I improved quickly, but poor, sleep-deprived Phuong has been fighting it hard along with a sore back and toe she jammed leaving the bathroom. 
• • •
Joanna loves reading her books, and now she reads nighttime stories to dad and her favorite stuffed animals: Dolphin, 'Zen' the dinosaur, Baby Whale and Crocodile. (They represent our family, by the way: Joanna is Dolphin; I'm crocodile; mom is Zen; Elijah is Baby Whale.) I've found a few websites that offer free books for kids and we take full advantage. We'll read 7 to 10 stories a day -- it is hot and rainy here -- and one story in particular, When Sophie Gets Really Angry, has been almost transformational for Joanna. The little girl in the story, Sophie, has a major meltdown after losing possession of a stuffed gorilla to her sister. Mom made the ruling, saying it was her sister's turn. Sophie copes with her awesome anger and temper by running, and observing and absorbing the wonders of nature. Joanna spotted touch me nots in the book. It's a wonderful story. I'll pass along the website, which I assume is OK. You can navigate your way to the stories. I highly recommend it if you have children of any age. Oh, the stories are in ENGLISH!     https://www.kidsworldfun.com/

As noted, rainy season is upon us, which often keeps the temperatures in the low 90s and keeps us indoors much of the day. But the forecast is for highs of 99 much of next week. So who knows? Thank goodness for those stories. ... I have now read 504 days in a row (heat and rain, again) and I'm in the middle of the Dune series. Reading comes naturally now. I've forced myself to read maybe three times in the past 504 days to keep the streak alive. Really, though, I just read because that's what I do these days ... almost 17 months without a drink, and cigarettes don't even interest me (5 years, 1 month without). 

Unfortunately, face masks join plastic in the local litter pile

My wife and I have noticed that a new form of litter has appeared on the streets and in the parks of Bien Hoa. Discarded face masks are challenging plastic bags for the dubious distinction of objects that are most littered in Vietnam. Cigarette butts are in a separate class by themselves, where the champ is determined by brand of butt. Since the onset of Covid,  the city has gotten slightly cleaner, but littering persists in the form of plastic, and now face masks. Offenders in the park still leave plastic cups and bags with styrofoam containers. That trash can hang around for a while, probably because the city doesn't have the manpower to continually pick up litter. The litter eventually gets cleaned in the park, but the streets are another story. Global warming concerns don't seem to concern people here, possibly because it's so warm all the time. The temperature has been over 90 for as long as I can remember, and recent forecasts in the low 90's are wishful thinking. I used to pick up trash from time to time in the park, often with my cane or walking stick. Sometimes, I even used my hands. Since Covid, those days are gone and I wouldn't consider touching a mask, even with my walking stick or cane.
• • •
My daughter has a low threshold for boredom, which means we rarely just take walks anymore to The Coffee House or Lido's. Instead, we go exploring, looking for "creatures" and touch me nots all over the city. The walks take anywhere from 1 to 3 hours and often start in the hot part of the day at 3 p.m. I can handle the heat, sort of, but the motorbikes on the sidewalks are tough to take. Just last week a bike came roaring down the sidewalk toward us, swerved to avoid me and clipped Joanna's right shoulder. Yes, this happens again, again, and again. Joanna reacted by saying "ho ho, I'm fine," which is what Daddy Pig of Peppa Pig fame says when he's run over by a truck or falls out of an airplane.  I screamed at the guy, who didn't stop of course, and people sitting nearby behind a makeshift food stand yelled at me to "calm down and relax." Maybe they would have the same reassuring arrogance if it was their kid who got hit, but I doubt it. Even my daughter told me to relax and that everything was fine. Anyway, my daughter has an amazing knack for finding creatures and touch me nots, spotting tadpoles in watery flower pots and touch me nots in the cracks of driveways near houses.  She saw toads on our night mission to the park and lizards have become passe', unless they're bigger.
• • •
Our son Elijah is officially a walker, but he's not 100 percent confident in his abilities. He reminds me of our daughter. He'll walk if he wants to or needs to reach up for something, but he still crawls if he wants to get somewhere fast. He'll motor on all fours towards any open door or electrical component. He walks for show and practice, and he is improving. He started walking when he turned 11 months old ... I'm trying to introduce math and science-type stuff to Joanna. She's loves learning about reptiles, fish, any animals and outer space, but clearly prefers letters and reading to math. She'll start drifting away even when I use M&M's as a prop for addition and subtraction ... Joanna has really embraced the Mozart and Beethoven I play at low volume during the day, mostly during "class." She makes requests and searches for certain tracks on YouTube when I'm not around ... Phuong got rejected in the final phase of her visa process. It's like a football team losing on a "Hell Mary" pass on the game's last play. The next step is to apply for a waiver, which we've already begun. If nothing else, we should be able to find out the "fraud" that Phuong is accused of committing that resulted in the lifetime ban. If the waiver fails ... well, I'll jump off that bridge when I come to it.

Service slips; do it yourself; rough patch of weather

When a new pharmacy opened here on Vo Thi Sau, the staff treated Joanna and I like royalty. They made every effort to understand our English and Vietnamese, translating online when necessary. The store was well-stocked and the staff gave Joanna free rein. And if the pharmacy didn't have the item I requested, they would order it and call me when it arrived. They had plenty of staff, some cleaning, some stocking shelves, others waiting on customers. But a few weeks after the store opened, the staff changed -- and seemed to change every time we went -- and had a different attitude toward Joanna. Her "antics" were no longer amusing. I started getting the hand wave when I asked for Povidine, or Betadine, items which I purchased regularly. They don't have other names; the words Povidine and Betadine are clearly on the label. I guess I didn't pronounce the words to the employees' satisfaction and understanding They stopped selling the store brand sensitive skin soap I used. At least that's the message I got from yet another hand wave. Blank stares replaced attempts to translate and understand my English or Vietnamese. The last time I went into the store -- and I do mean last time -- was this week. I couldn't see a staffer and after a short search, I saw the lone employee sitting on the floor. She was on her cell phone, and I doubt very seriously it was work related. Perhaps, but unlikely. She was friendly enough but didn't understand  or try to understand a word I said, so I just bought Joanna some candy. It's sad. Good things don't last forever, I guess.
• • •
The path that I like to think of as a pedestrian cut-through between two streets near our house -- but is also used by motorbikes much to my dismay -- had become quite the mess. Work started but was never finished on the huge concrete sidewalk blocks that are placed over some kind of drainage system. You hear the water trickling  under the sidewalk. There were loose stones everywhere and the brickwork alongside the concrete was torn into rubble. A man who lives next to the path tired of the mess and used his own money to pay contractors to clean up a sizable portion of the path. The bricks were  redone and new concrete was poured alongside the blocks. Sadly, someone rode a motorbike through the path and left pretty deep tire imprints in the freshly poured concrete. (See photos on the right.) The man who paid to fix part of the path said he hopes an influx of pedestrians will reduce motorbike traffic through the path.
• • •
We're enduring a rough stretch of weather here ... temperatures in the upper 90s every day and it stays above 80 almost all night. We're near the river, so sometimes there's a breeze. When it's hot over a longer stretch, even the locals get snarly. Not many folk are out during the day and the park is busier in the early evening. Air conditioned coffee shops with internet are packed all the time. The heat is fatiguing and very uncomfortable for me, a man of many rashes and much sweat. The heat has done nothing for my back, other than making it hotter. It actually rained heavily for a couple of days, but the rain didn't cool things off. Our son 'Easy E' Elijah seems OK with the heat even though he's a big boy. He'll stand on his own, take three steps or so, but I won't classify him as a walker just yet. Very soon, but not yet. He'll turn 11 months old in a couple of days. Joanna, like her dad, sweats quite a bit and struggles with the weather. She talks a lot about moving to Maine for the snow and colder weather. Despite getting hit and pushed, and a language barrier, Joanna's behavior improves almost daily along with her impressive reading and extensive (English) vocabulary. We walk to the park (together) these days and try to guess the color of the canal. I'll usually say black and she'll usually say green. She's usually right but the water is more brownish green, in my view.
• • •
My wife is close to obtaining her visa to enter the U.S., just as the Covid cases spike there due to the easing of restrictions and lack of diligence. Regardless, school and social amenities for Joanna will take us to the U.S., possibly fairly soon. As always, we'll see. ... My streaks continue: I've read 483 days in a row ... I just finished Dune, Dune Messiah, and  Children of Dune. Enjoyed them all ... It's been 16 months since I've had alcohol and the streak I'm most proud of is five years-plus without a cigarette. But who's counting?

Old school dentist fixes me up; shots for my kids

My body keeps deteriorating, which is no news flash since I'm 66 going on 79 in a life of excess. After mashing my toe and wrenching my ankles and knee in a couple of old-guy falls in the house, I bit into a frozen candy bar and one of my back molars crumbled. At first, I thought there was a stone in the candy bar, but I saw the "stone" under a magnifying glass and brilliantly deducted that is was a back tooth. The deduction was assisted by my tongue finding a jagged gap in the back of my mouth, next door to my gold tooth, which my former student Sam has requested when I finish playing the end game. My father-in-law hooked me up with his dentist, a no-nonsense woman who seemed concerned about my ability to pay for treatment. She quoted me a price and I assured her I could pay -- "tien den, tien di" (money comes, money goes), I told her -- and that set her in motion. The office is divided by curtains, and the dentist chatted with my father-in-law while she worked rather rigorously on my mouth. She drilled away some of the remaining tooth and only slipped up a couple of times, touching the nerve. I swear she was distracted by my father-in-law. I returned two days later for the cap, and she used some kind of tool to essentially hammer the cap into place. It was sore for three days. Then she suggested a cleaning and procedure to fill in the many gaps between my gums and teeth caused by my receding gums, apparently yet another sign that the end game is in full swing. The dentist's style is strictly old school. If you don't scream, it doesn't hurt. She put me through cosmetic and cleaning rigors for a good 45 minutes. I came away a little rattled but my teeth look pretty darn good, I must admit. It's been seven or eight years since I've been to a dentist, so I was pleased. It was a bargain as well, costing a little over $100 U.S. Not a lot of money that was very well spent.
`• • •
My kids went for routine vaccinations this past week and did very well. The last time we went, Joanna had to be held down by a doctor. This time, she listened to dad, counted to five and said OUCH! during the shot and that was it. I could tell she was sort of proud of herself for how she handled the pain. It was a good-sized needle, by the way. Elijah cried for about two seconds after the shot and that was it. He's big, sweet and tough. Mission accomplished with no issues. We asked about Covid vaccines, but I guess they're for health workers for the time being.  There are still a smattering of cases here, but nothing like the U.S. or Europe.
• • •
Poor Joanna basically got assaulted three times in the past two weeks. A little girl about two started hitting her out of the blue on two separate occasions in a little market near our house. A little boy 2 or 3  she sort of knows from a restaurant where I get take-out grabbed her fingers really hard and started twisting. Joanna yelled "give me back my hand" but the kid wouldn't let go so I intervened briefly to free her up. Then the boy sort of gorilla posed and screamed in front of me to signify how tough he is. The third occasion was simple push and shove stuff at a party. Joanna told the boy to stop pushing her and she ran away from him. My wife was with me for all of the incidents, so there is a witness. I suspect corporal punishment or hitting of some kind at home leads to the aggressive behavior we've encountered here. The mothers just smile or laugh at their kids' unsavory behavior. Joanna isn't aggressive with other kids and she hasn't retaliated yet. She's got the size to retaliate, but we don't want the behavior of a lot of the kids here to influence and rub off on her. I know kids are kids and some of this can be expected, but the random quality of the aggressiveness toward our daughter concerns me. She's a sweet girl, but she'll eventually retaliate and she's big and very strong. We just don't want anything to happen. My wife will be taking her physical again to obtain her U.S. visa and we'll go from there and see what happens.

Happy anniversary to an awesome lady; a horrible scare

Right here, right now, I want to use this space to say how much I love, respect and appreciate my incredible and beautiful wife Phuong as we celebrate our fifth wedding anniversary this week. In the five years we've been married and 6-and-a-half years we've lived together, we've experienced so much: we've gotten new teeth; I've lost a gall bladder; I damaged my kidney and back in three motorbike accidents; tore a tendon in my foot playing tennis; recovered and reclaimed, and then lost the No. 1 family tennis ranking; developed sciatica; we visited Thailand and South Korea; I became estranged from my family for past mistakes and required therapy, which I still receive; I've endured countless skin rashes (I have two now) and smashed my big toe and hurt my left knee in a sudden and spectacular fall on our stairs; a week later I fell out of bed and mildly sprained my right ankle; I've quit smoking and drinking and took up daily reading; and we finally obtained a de facto visa for my wife to enter the U.S. after six years of effort and thousands of dollars spent. All of these events are certainly memorable, but the greatest and most important events of the past 6-and-a-half years for Phuong and I are -- duh, of course -- the births of our daughter Joanna and son Elijah. Our son is so easy-going and pleasant; he smiles constantly and enjoys company. Joanna is certainly more challenging and demanding, but she has such a high intellect, good heart and quick wit for a child 4-and-a-half years old. This pair occupies our every moment, and we couldn't be happier. My wife's devotion and loyalty to our family through good times and bad -- and God knows I've contributed more than my share to the bad -- are a testament to her strong and incredible character. Sometimes I don't deserve it, but I feel I'm the luckiest man alive. Happy anniversary, Dear Phuong.
• • •
My daughter took her independence and free spirit to a higher and more dangerous level this past week, going out our front door and walking by herself to the park, which is a good little walk from our house with several turns. She's never done anything like this before and she rarely goes out in front of our house by herself. When I saw the door open and Phuong coming home, I asked her if Joanna was at her parents' house. When she said no, I panicked and ran upstairs and checked our bedroom. I knew she wasn't there but had to check. No Joanna and no answer. I checked upstairs at her parents' house ... no Joanna, no answer. I ran to the little market around the corner. I asked the clerk and got the frickin' hand shake. I ran toward the park and past a car wash, asking the employees there if they had seen Joanna. One guy just laughed but another pointed to the park. I ran there and saw Joanna strolling in the park carrying her stuffed crocodile and wearing her hat, God bless her. It was 94 degrees at least. I ran to her and picked her up and hugged her. I was almost in tears. Words can't capture the fear and stress I felt as I looked for Joanna. Outlandish and reckless motorbike riders and creepy people walking around make this walk so frightening for a child ...  and parent. Joanna seemed surprised by my reaction as I hugged and squeezed her. She hasn't been out of my sight since.
• • •
Covid lockdown restrictions are slowly being lifted here, with schools now reopened and food trickling back into the markets. Not everyone wears a mask, but I never forget my mask anymore, and our daughter Joanna wears a mask every time she goes out. Our 10-month-old son Elijah won't wear a mask.  Phuong is 50-50 but she's stepped up lately. There's talk of Covid in a beach town a couple of hours away, and lots of folks who live here go there for vacation. But restrictions haven't been ramped up yet and there are no reports of a cluster. Two foreigners I know were in the park we go to (and Joanna walked to) and some of the locals were suspicious. People were worried they had just come into town and perhaps were "contaminated". They weren't wearing masks, which added to the suspicions. My wife assured the concerned locals that the foreigners lived more or less in the neighborhood and had been here a long time.
* * *
 Our son has gravitated naturally to sports, or at least the sports balls in our house. He'll amuse himself for long stretches of time with a soccer ball, knocking it across the room and then crawling after it at high rates of speed. It's fun to watch, since crawling on my knees across the floor with him is out of the question. He's getting close to walking, thank goodness. Faux marble or hard faux wood on top of faux marble are not kind to my old knees. Even Joanna has finally noticed the adverse effects of hitting the floor in our house. But Joanna doesn't care about sports in any way, shape, or form. Books and videos are her bag. She'll run back and forth across a room, she'll play chase at the park, but sports with a ball or racket or any equipment -- even tennis shoes -- is out of the question.

Covid quiets Tet; a nasty fall on faux marble stairs

 Not everyone is adhering to the Covid lockdown rules here. The lure of Tet partying and coffeehouse fun attracted those who needed to get out and release whatever it is they have pent up. The coffee house with fish near our house was packed with mask-less people last Sunday; they were out looking to socialize, be seen, and do the things people do at the countless coffee shops here. I understand the need to get out, I guess, but I'm baffled by those who refuse to wear a mask. While Tet attracts gatherings -- especially family and friends gatherings -- and potential super-spreader events, it limits other gatherings because all the stores, bars and restaurants are closed during Tet ... Covid or no Covid. But coronavirus concerns have closed schools until the end of February, at least. The cupboards are bare in most of the grocery stores, a combination of Tet and Covid, I suspect. The combination has reduced traffic, and quite frankly, created a a more relaxing atmosphere in Bien Hoa. There were fewer motorbikes and cars on sidewalks and the few pedestrians we saw were friendly and pleasant. Life is slowly returning to normal because I've noticed that more bikes are returning to the sidewalks and more people are cutting in line at the few markets that are open.
• • •
I wasn't blessed with attractive feet, and a very gnarly fall on our faux marble stairs has turned the unattractive into pure ugliness. Last weekend, my daughter and her friend had been playing with the hose on the third floor, enjoying themselves no end. My wife woke me up from a wonderful nap and told me to go get my daughter, dry her off, and bring her downstairs. My daughter moves quickly, and after she dried off she was on her way. I followed and when I planted my right foot while descending the stairs, I hit a patch of water and my right leg shot out from under me ... like a rocket. Ah, the joy of faux marble. I collapsed onto my left leg and sort of bounced down one stair on the buckled leg and foot. I don't know the extent or exact nature of the injuries. I had to yank my left big toe back into place while whimpering on the stairs; and the other toes took a good jolt. All turned ungodly purple the next day and I developed a couple of ghastly fracture blisters on my left big toe and right middle toe. According to Dr. Internet, these blood-filled blisters will last at least three weeks. The joint for my left toe bent backwards in dramatic fashion and is swollen; actually, my whole left foot is swollen. My left heel was crammed against my left butt cheek, a posture I've been unable to attain since 2nd grade, meaning my left knee is injured as well. I hurt the same knee in high school. Otherwise, I'm fine and dandy. I can walk, slowly, and climb stairs for laundry and kids playing on the third floor. I walked to one of the few open coffee shops with Joanna, and I went grocery shopping. Slowly.  I drone on about this because my mom fell down the stairs (a long time ago), hit her head and died about 9 days later. Her house had hardwood stairs, which are as hard as the faux marble, but not usually as slippery.  I slipped on our faux marble flooring after trying to soak the foot in salt water, but didn't go down. My wife has cooked two out of the last three dinners to help out, but oddly the more I use the foot the better it feels. The fracture blisters balloon up, but the joints in the injured foot start to loosen up. One of life's trade-offs, I guess. My wife suggests I do a little more housework to improve the foot. I'll give that suggestion all the thought it deserves.

 • • •
My son Elijah has become enamored with my giant-sized, purple, blistered big toe, grabbing it on Saturday and smiling, while I nearly vaulted to the ceiling in pain (off my good foot). Joanna has kicked the foot a few times with her incessant dancing to StoryBots videos, the new house favorite. For the most part, Joanna has excellent taste in kid videos: Sesame Street, Peppa Pig, BBC One with David Attenborough, and lately, StoryBots. I highly recommend the StoryBots outer space and dinosaur rap -- tyrannosaurus, that's the chorus. My wife and I are both exhausted taking care of two kids and a three-storied, faux-marbled house, but no complaints except for the heat -- highs of  91 to 94 each day. But since I'm focused on the positive these days, the heat keeps my injured joints loose, the faux marble cleans up nicely, and the blisters distract from the general ugliness of my feet. (I have pictures but for personal and medical purposes only.)
• • •
I'm approaching five years without a cigarette and 15 months without a drink. I've read 441 days in a row and still battle sciatica, a testament to how sedentary and fat I've become. My wife Phuong has a video blog on YouTube, so check it out:   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WFQ2YKFIZU

Search Phuong Pham Millman for more vlogs ... give it a like and subscribe if so inclined. Thanks.

Vietnam acts swiftly to deal with new Covid outbreak

Vietnam took decisive action when 90 cases of coronavirus were reported earlier this week. The country essentially shut down -- I don't know how long this will last. Schools were closed and limits were placed on the number of customers allowed to occupy a business. Masks have been required all the time regardless of cases reported, but the requirement will likely be enforced now. Vietnam has a population of about 90 million, so 90 cases isn't much. But a big outbreak, like what the U.S. has experienced for the past year, would be especially devastating here. I hear no mention of a vaccine in Vietnam, which instead focuses on contact tracing, isolating potential cases, and masks. I realize a homogeneous society like the one in Vietnam will unite and get on board with policies aimed at thwarting the virus. People act as one. In the United States, with its diversity and focus on individuality and personal freedom, a united front for anything -- other than an alien invasion from outer space -- seems unlikely, or at least incredibly difficult at this point. The United States has 27 million coronavirus cases (81,000 per 1 million people) so far and 458,000 deaths. Vietnam has 1,800 cases to date and 35 deaths. I pulled the numbers from worldometers.net. Even Tet could be a coronavirus casualty this year, which shows just how serious folks are about an outbreak and making sure it's contained.

• • •

While Joanna and I were walking home from the bread store on Tuesday, a car came up behind us on the sidewalk. I didn't turn to see the car but my "Spidey" senses started tingling and when I turned around the car was literally inches from us and still moving forward. I threatened to smash the car's headlights with my invaluable walking stick and the guy finally stops with the fender actually touching my leg. He gets halfway out of his car to point to his blinking turn signal as if to say what he was doing was completely acceptable. I didn't accept it since I don't have eyes in the back of my head, and I started screaming bad words at the guy and walking toward the driver side. I backed off and apologized to my daughter for getting so upset. But I actually got some support from a couple of ladies running a fruit stand near the incident. Usually, locals defend each other, regardless of who's wrong, as I found out when I got broadsided going through an intersection on my motorbike -- "You may have been going kind of slow," one witness said. But these ladies signaled that the guy was crazy. Remember, I'm walking in the middle of a sidewalk holding hands (for safety as much as affection) with my 4-year-old daughter. Anyway, about one minute later a girl on a motorbike comes ripping toward us on the sidewalk and doesn't veer; it's as if she expects us to move. I just pulled Joanna behind me and held up my invaluable stick. She started yelling something at me and veered away with a good three feet to spare. And to think I gave up the motorbike and started walking for safety concerns.

• • •

Imitation isn't necessarily flattery. Lots of adolescents and sadly, many adults, like to mimic me in a mocking fashion ... for fun, I guess. I'll say "hi, how are you? to people, and some choose to reply  Hellllooo ..... how are yooooouuuu? in affected voices. I just smile since I'm used to this kind of stuff, but a week ago Joanna asked some employees who were cleaning fish at Mega Mart, "What are you doing?" and they laughed, waved their hands in the air and copied what Joanna said in a silly fashion. Joanna was confused by the response and asked again very slowly What ... are .... you .... doing? She got the same laughing response and she seemed genuinely upset and walked away. I don't think they were really making fun of her, but their reaction was immature at best. The kids who mimic me are trying to get me ticked off and for a short while it worked. Couldn't care less these days. Some of this mocking has been directed lately at Joanna, who despite being half Vietnamese doesn't look it. So she's getting the What's your name? Where you from? treatment. I say treatment because the kids repeat the questions over and over to her even after she answers. It's an effort to confuse or upset her. Comes with the territory of being unique in a homogeneous society. She stays much calmer in the face of this kind of stuff than I do because, of course, I don't want my 4-year-old being taunted for no reason. 

• • •

I write about a lot of negative stuff because we don't go out super much, but when we do, stuff seems to happen more than it should. Also, my therapist told me my brain is probably wired this way through genetics, and I need to work on an attitude adjustment. I mention the bad stuff with vehicles because of the danger involved. Nothing like a little danger, eh? And the kids yelling F$%K at me is just silly and not really worth mentioning. But there's so much positive that happens here. Joanna fell on her bike and two guys jumped out of their chairs at a coffee shop to check on her and help her up. Another stranger offered a typical Vietnamese peanut snack to Joanna when she walked past him at his outside table. People smile and acknowledge Joanna all the time, especially in The Coffee House. The manager at The Coffee House, Tau, always gives her cookies. The older folks are always nice, waving and smiling at us on our afternoon walk (as we dodge cars and bikes ... oops, there I go again). But while traffic and weather are big challenges here, most of the people I've encountered are a real plus.  It's a good thing because I've been here almost eight years.