Stopping daycare; acupuncture helps; conversation class

Our daycare business will shut down on Oct.10,  a little more than eight months after Phuong began this project as a way to have Joanna interact more with other children.  Our daycare is being stopped for personal reasons that I won't get into here. Ostensibly, Phuong is tired and my back is a mess in the morning, which in my view is the most important time for kids and daycare. I leave the house from 9 a.m. to 10:30 a.m. three times a week for acupuncture treatment, meaning Phuong is alone with the little angels. But we persevered and ultimately I found the time with kids very enjoyable. We were doing regular art and "academic" projects that focused on the alphabet and shapes; we made princess and Spiderman masks last week. Joanna's interaction with the kids was OK, but she speaks primarily English and the other kids in the group speak Vietnamese. Blame me for that. When the children took their nap after lunch, Joanna would come upstairs to play and read books with me. Really, the time she spent playing with the other kids was quite limited, although I noticed an increase lately ...  since we decided to shutter the business. It always seems to work that way, doesn't it? I won't miss the constant illnesses that came into the house and worked their way into my body, but I'll miss all of the kids. They were starting to get it: We share, we don't hit, and everyone gets along.

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I've had about seven acupuncture treatments so far for sciatica and they are clearly helping. My back and legs are still problematic for about an hour in the morning, probably because of our lousy bed that my wife loves, but the discomfort settles down and goes away for the rest of the day. Before acupuncture, the pain would persist and be quite uncomfortable at times. Now I can do tai chi at night with little or no pain. I'm a satisfied customer and I'll continue with the treatment indefinitely. I get the treatments at a lady's house and there are four or five other patients there as well. It's a little odd since everyone has their pants pulled halfway down their butts. No big deal, except in the case of my butt.  Just saying. There's no fan or air conditioning in the room, which is open to the street.  I'm guessing it's close to 90 degrees F in the room when I'm getting treated, so sweat pours off of me the entire time. The acupuncture lady seems shocked every time she sees me sweat, which is every time I go there. Anyway, a massage either follows or comes before the acupuncture, and it's very good -- firm, strong, but not painful. This lady and her acupuncture business including the massage guys get an enthusiastic thumbs-up (and butts-up) from the White Monkey.

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I'm guilty of generalizing about the motorbike riders and car drivers here. I've said they're all pretty much selfish, aggressive turds. Twice in the past week as I waited to cross the street, cars stopped and waved me across -- and they had the right of way. On one occasion, the motorbikes stopped as well to let me cross. On the other occasion, motorbikes raced around the car -- the stupid turds -- and nearly hit me as I crossed at the beckoning of the car's driver. I felt obliged. But I rarely walk in Bien Hoa unless I'm carrying my brother's walking stick. My brother didn't use it, fell in the bathroom and died a short while later. I bought it in Prince Edward Island and gave it to Charlie. Anyway, when bikes come ripping at me, which they're apt to do here, I'll hold up the stick in a defensive posture. They'll either slow down or give me a wide berth. Maybe Charlie is looking out for me as well.

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My English students want "conversation", so when I give them a topic or ask them questions, they go silent. It's been that way here for seven years, whether I'm in a language center or in my third-floor classroom at home. Conversation seems to happen best when it's natural and spontaneous, and not scheduled, requested or forced. So, I still teach from a book and have an agenda, but try to let the conversation develop naturally, regardless of the topic. If we get off course, so to speak, so be it.

Crushed thumb; acupuncture; Joanna has gift of gab

I had a mixed bag of personal experiences on Saturday, which is typical of my life here. As I was getting into a taxi, I grabbed the partially opened window to close the door and at that exact moment the driver pressed the button to close the electric window, nearly amputating my right thumb. I screamed in pain because my thumb was trapped and the driver just looked at me. The pressure on my thumb was unbearable, and the driver finally understood and released my throbbing thumb. A lady working a food stand on the corner saw and heard the whole pathetic incident -- locals watch everything that goes on here -- and she came over with some kind of mint-smelling oil and applied it to my thumb. I don't know if it helped, but it sure was a hell of a nice gesture. That's the second time my thumb has been trapped in a taxi's electric window here -- shame on me. Anyway, when I got to my destination, the driver said no charge. Fair enough since I almost had no thumb; my thumb nail will surely be lost. Anyway, my destination is the final installment of my Saturday saga. I went to a woman who does acupuncture. A Russian gentlemen I met told me about his bad back -- a sciatica problem like mine -- and a local lady who gives him acupuncture treatments. He said the treatments have really helped and he gave me her phone number to make an appointment. So I arrived for the treatment with a throbbing thumb. I've never had an acupuncture treatment before, but it didn't hurt when the woman inserted the little needles into my back, butt, and down both legs. They almost tickled. You feel a mild pulsation when the electricity is sent into the needles. One spot on the left side of my back got really hot, and the women pointed this out because, I guess, it also got real red. I have no explanation, even though I have a simpleton's understanding of chi and meridians; the acupuncture woman speaks no English. The woman suggested 45 treatments for me. Cost is not an issue but my time and availability could be.  The acupuncture was an absolutely positive experience and my sciatic feels better. Cured? No, but the pain in my back, butt and down both legs is substantially reduced.  I'll go as often as I can. Maybe she can also treat my thumb next time.

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Joanna continues to amaze me with her wonderful behavior and clever responses. I asked her "Who loves you?" and she responded M-O-M-M-Y.  Spelling is her new obsession of sorts -- I have to be careful with Joanna because like her mom and dad, when she gets fixated on something it's not easy to get her to move on to something else. I was reading a book called "Bubble Bubble" by Mercer Mayer and one of the picture frames shows paper litter on the ground next to a sign that says No Littering. Joanna saw the paper on the ground and said: "Oh no. Horrible, terrible trash on the ground."

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I put my foot down with Phuong (and Joanna) that Joanna must be in bed NO LATER than 8:30 p.m. each night.  Joanna manipulated her way into staying up until 9:30 and beyond each night by claiming: She had to pee; she had to go outside; she lost her duck; she had to pee again; and she lost her chickens. Phuong is much more lenient and patient with Joanna than the White Monkey, which is one reason Joanna loves her M-O-M-M-Y so much. But there has clearly been a change for the better in Joanna's personality and behavior since she's been going to bed earlier and is back on a set schedule. I eliminated her afternoon nap and an early bedtime isn't nearly the challenge it used to be.

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Bad news on the tennis front. Phuong beat me twice last week to take the No. 1 ranking from me, but she pulled a muscle in one of her lovely legs in the process. Now, she's on injury leave, meaning I'm stuck with the No. 2 ranking until she returns. My appeal to be reinstated as No. 1 was rejected by some "corrupt" tennis organization.  I'm willing to play through the pain of my throbbing thumb and painful sciatica to reclaim my rightful place on the family tennis throne, but Phuong is taking a day-to-day, wait-and-see approach. Clearly, she's ducking me.

Bad mall scene; no safety; melancholy memories

I imagine if you went to a market in Dhaka or Mumbai or Dar Es Salaam, the crowds could be worse and the heat more stifling. But the heat and mob scene at Aeon Mall in Binh Duong, Vietnam, on Monday, a national holiday, was as intense as any I've experienced. It was like Black Friday on steroids ... in the tropics. The locals bounced off each other like it was no big deal and just about everyone took off their shoes when they ate at the food court, which didn't sell hot coffee or have chocolate syrup or any servers who could understand English. It was all in a day out for Phuong and her family, but the White Monkey suffers mild panic attacks in hot, crowded places. In short, I don't like them. But I was a good soldier and didn't complain, even when people pointed and stared at the White Monkey. When requested -- four times, I believe -- I posed for pictures with some teenage boys and girls. Phuong found a wonderful toy for Joanna, a bag of good-sized rubber and plastic insects that Joanna has carried with her and played with since she got home. So all was not lost in the heat and masses of people, but scenes like this are clearly not my style.
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One of the daycare moms couldn't get her car to start and she asked me to help. I'm an English teacher -- not a mechanic -- for a reason. But this was an easy fix.  I turned the steering wheel so it clicked into place, then all was well. The car started. The woman was carrying a very young baby, and shockingly, she got in the car and held the baby as she drove away. There was no car seat, but there was a video screen going full blast on the front dashboard. She has to go across town, but safety takes a back seat to convenience and speed (and videos) in this country, as far as I can tell. The woman is nice enough, but I can't understand a mother of four not doing everything she can to keep her kids safe. Holding your baby with her other kids in a subcompact and driving in Vietnam's ruthless traffic isn't doing very much to secure her kids'  safety.
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My older brother Charlie would have turned 71 on Sept. 3. I didn't see him much-- two or three times in the last 10 years of his sad life -- but like clockwork I would call him once a week to chat. I used to try to keep up with people that way, but as I get older I stay in touch with fewer people. And I'm doing it less and less. Folks have their own lives and seem very busy and preoccupied these days; some people don't want contact with me because they remember what a putz I was when I was younger; and besides, I'm focusing on making sure I do the best I can for my little girl and wife. All said,  I miss my chats with my brother. We went through a lot together as kids, sometimes more than kids should have to go through.
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Some wonderful news. My former student Sam is now my current student again. She wants to continue to improve her English and English teaching skills, which is why she's one of my favorite students and favorite people of all time. Welcome back Sam. I'm teaching four students .twice a week -- Sam and her cousin in one class and Lan and Uyen in another. Both classes are wonderful, in case you cared. I know I do.
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 A wonderful high school classmate of mine, Dan Hoeftman, passed away recently. I used to think I had some boxing skills when I was younger until I put the gloves on with Dan. He was quick and skilled enough to pound my face, but he was gentle and kind enough to hold back. I admired Dan, who in high school had to wrestle above his weight for the good of the team. That was Dan's nature -- putting others above himself. God's speed, Dan.