Flu, heat deliver a beatdown; AC finally fixed

I had big plans for Phuong's 41st birthday last weekend. I bought a cake, Belgian chocolates and planned a fancy dinner. Then I got socked with the flu, and this is truly a special case that I picked up from our daycare group. My chest was so congested that breathing was difficult, my nose did the usual running, and my throat got so sore I couldn't talk in the mornings or evenings. Some people applauded this, but it didn't stop me from writing. I also had a fever that had me sweating buckets in the god-awful heat here. I waited for, and actually wanted, the chills, but they never came. Finally, I hope, the bug, or virus, or whatever, got into my digestive track and wreaked havoc. My bloated belly doubled in size -- if you can imagine that -- and was so tight that I had to wear super stretchy gym shorts only. There was real pain in my stomach, acid reflux for one night that prevented me from sleeping, and remarkable gas. Gas, gas, gas. Joanna and Phuong have laughed at me constantly because I've spent the last 36 hours blowing off steam, so to speak, and there's the fear of escapees (so far not a problem). Thank goodness we're in the midst of a Vietnamese holiday -- independence day, I think -- so I haven't had to work daycare. We start back up Thursday. After eight days of feeling like hell, I'm finally returning to some semblance of normal. I'm not there yet, but I'm improving.  My barrel belly is slowly shrinking to a pot belly, my gas flow has slowed to where I'm no longer a candidate for fracking, and my congestion has improved to where I don't breathe like a beached haddock. I haven't been this sick since I ate bad ceviche in Peru seven years ago, and that disaster only lasted five days. I'm not ready for a beer yet, but when I am, let's drink to our health. I've apologized to Phuong for making a mess out of her birthday, but she's a good sport. Good husband that I am, I played tennis with Phuong despite the flu and lost three of four sets along with my No. 1 family ranking. I know my wife really enjoys and looks forward to our tennis, so I do everything I can to stay on the court, regardless of flu or foot.

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 Thu

100°

81°

Fri

101°

82°

Sat

99°

82°

Sun

96°

81°

Mon

97°

82°

Tue

96°

82°

Wed

97°

82°

It's not listed, but I checked and saw that the humidity is in the 60's and 70's daily. The temperatures seem a little warmer because we're in a city with lots and lots of motorbikes, cars and trucks. And it's rarely as cloudy or rainy as the little icons indicate. Regardless, the difficult part of this for my family is that both of our bedroom air conditioners weren't working real well last week. They dripped water like crazy and I checked what I could check with no luck. Repairmen were very busy and couldn't make it to our house for a while. You don't understand. Phuong doesn't love the weather, but she's certainly more adapted to it than I am. Like her dad, Joanna doesn't enjoy the heat. The coffee shops have become an oasis for me, but I'm not the only one in need. They can be crowded and noisy and I've never really enjoyed crowds and noise. I remember stretches of hot and humid weather like this in Delaware, where I grew up. But even in the worst of times the nighttime lows always got into the 70s. Ah, the repairmen finally arrived and we're cool again. Cost us less than $10 to unclog the lines from our two bedroom air conditioners.

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We're waiting -- on pins and needles -- to hear from the embassy and my lawyer about Phuong's interview for a spousal visa. I won't lie. My health is taking a beating here and I'd be in worse shape if I didn't chi and play tennis. Joanna is thriving, but I think she'll blossom even more in the U.S., especially when it's time for her to start school. We need to move for my health and mental well-being, for Joanna's future, and for my wife, who must be allowed to join her husband and daughter in the U.S. Seems reasonable to me.

A cool life despite Vietnamese heat; visa talk

We're in the middle of a relentless heat wave here where I sweat even in air-conditioned rooms. Really. Then again, I've been in the middle of a relentless heat wave here for the past six years. No shock since I live in the tropics, where paper cuts take a month to heal and skin rashes are displayed like tattoos. Our refrigerator struggles to keep leftovers and milk cold. Our freezer needs five hours in the day to make ice; it works better at night. We don't have air conditioning in our kitchen (too expensive and the house is too big) so lunch and dinner are served in 86 to 88-degree coziness. It's 99, sunny, and humid daily with no real significant cool-down at night. I take a minimum of three showers a day. March and April have traditionally been nasty hot months here. Things may cool down to 95 or so in May or June with the approach of the rainy season, but hot is hot, folks.  And the humidity is a constant. We're at 10.95 degrees latitude here so the swelter is to be expected. In other words, I only have myself to blame. However, we have a wonderful life and routine going even with the heat, motorbikes and cutting in line. Phuong's daycare business is crazy busy, relentless and wildly entertaining. Phuong is a natural with kids and with the parents. She's a -- oh God, dare I say it --- people person. Her confidence and calm demeanor seem to assure her success in whatever she pursues. (Except tennis, ha ha.) Joanna is the joy of our life. She makes jokes, speaks two languages, and confronts us at every turn. I love her temper and moxie. Also, I enjoy my English students and classes. Teaching students who want to learn -- or at least don't scowl at me for an hour -- is a real joy. I've become a prolific reader, sitting in coffee shops at least an hour a day with Jack Vance books. Now I'm reading "Little Women". Tennis with Phuong is great fun. In addition, the new Craft Beer bar around the corner serves a wonderful pale ale and tasty mango beer on tap, and also sells Westmalle Tripel and Estrella Damm in bottles. And Joanna can sit at the bar and eat snacks with us served by a cute barmaid. So, the heat and other unsavory obstacles be damned. We're doing our best to make the best of a situation that isn't optimal, but at least it has some potential. Even injuries from motorbike accidents and tennis have forced me to focus on tai chi and fitness, so it's possible to live well in a challenging environment. If not for Phuong and Joanna, I'd probably be walking the earth barefoot carrying a little pouch ... like Kwai Chang Caine.

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We're still in the process of getting Phuong an interview at the U.S. Embassy to obtain a spousal visa to enter the U.S. Like I've said, Phuong and I could live anywhere, but our goal is to get Joanna to the U.S. where I  believe she'll have excellent educational and social opportunities. Like her dad, she's an American citizen. Phuong's visa status is the main stumbling block, which is why we have a lawyer. We're hopeful but certainly not in a panic mode. I expect my country will do the right thing and allow my wife to enter the U.S. with her American daughter and American husband. If not, I would like to teach in Peru again, or buy a $1 house in Italy that I read about on the CNN website.

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I saw online where a young man in Yellow Springs, Ohio, was apparently the victim of a homicide. His body was found in Glen Helen. I have a house in Yellow Springs, and this is where me, my wife and daughter will probably live if Phuong gets a visa. My condolences to the young man's friends and family, and to the friends and family of all other serious crime victims in Yellow Springs. It's a small, somewhat close-knit and fairly comfortable community, so it's difficult to imagine things like this happening there.

Vietnamese parenting techniques; visa interview imminent

Our daycare business, which now has eight children including our daughter Joanna, allows me to observe the different parenting techniques of Vietnamese moms and dads. Love is love, no matter where you live, but I've seen some styles of parenting that seem to me to be more prevalent in Vietnam than in the United States.  There's no good or bad where love is concerned, but here are my observations.
-- Overall, breastfeeding continues for a longer period of time for children in Vietnam than in the U.S. Again, this is my observation from personal experience. Our group has seven moms with eight children -- all of the moms, except Phuong, breastfeed. The breastfed children range in age from 19 months to 39 months. Actually,  all but two of the children are over two years old. Joanna stopped at five months for a variety of reasons. What I've read indicates that moms can breastfeed their children as long as they want and as long as mom and baby enjoy the experience. I'm in total agreement with that.
-- There seems to be more holding and lap-sitting here, and a little less toy time. This is completely understandable since the moms are working and cherish the time they have with their children. But groups of four or five moms will sit around holding their children almost the entire time. It's sweet, and Phuong does this with Joanna, but I since I was a hyper little chimp, it's foreign to me, so to speak.
-- Of course I'm not in the kids' homes at night, but I suspect reading isn't quite the bedtime ritual in Vietnam that it is in the U.S. ... well,  at least I hope it's a ritual in the U.S.  Phuong reads sparingly to Joanna -- that's my job -- and all but one or two of our children's books are in English. There might not be a wide range or volume of children's book in Vietnam.  I don't see many cardboard books here, which are essential for the little ones.
-- Almost all the kids hit. They take a swing at adults, other kids and even toys that don't cooperate. Not sure why this is. One thing I notice is that moms are extremely tolerant of wild behavior, things like random screaming, interrupting, throwing toys. At our daycare, if the child's behavior is physically aggressive, we'll give them a timeout in a chair for a few minutes. Children usually don't like to be separated from the group. We try to redirect if we can to avoid any serious issues. So far, so good.
-- Moms here love to feed their kids rather than insisting kids try to feed themselves. I've noted this before, and it never ceases to amaze and annoy me when I see a mom squatting and feeding a 4-year-old. I don't know why it bothers me so much -- maybe because I can't squat down flat-footed like everyone else here to feed a kid. I just make Joanna and the other children do it themselves, and they all seem happy to cooperate and try. Hey, if you're hungry ...
Bottom line: Watching little kids learn and interact with parents and other children is not only downright fascinating, it's instructional as well. I never thought I'd say this, but I really enjoy it, and I can thank my wife Phuong for that.

* * *

-- A virus is working its way around the kids and adults in our group. Headaches and sore throats abound. Joanna is fighting a really runny nose and sore throat, and she's very cranky.  Phuong is starting to get sick as well. I've been lucky so far, which probably means I'll get sick this week.
-- I'm weighing a job offer from a language center in Barcelona, Spain, but research tells me the city is crowded and expensive. I'm still researching but can't access much information on the school.
-- After dominating my wife in tennis early in my comeback, Phuong has shaken off the rust and beaten me in two of our last three fun-filled and exciting matches. My foot is holding up, in part due to my new K-Swiss plantar fascia-friendly tennis shoes, and we're having a blast.
-- The U.S. government accepted our petition for a spousal visa for Phuong. That means she should have an interview at the U.S. Embassy in Ho Chi Minh City in the near future -- a month or two -- to determine if and when she can come to the U.S. with her American husband and American daughter. I don't want to say much so I don't jinx us. Our motives are not sinister; they're pure: we want the best schools and opportunities for our American daughter Joanna, and there is no way in hell I could separate Joanna from her loving mom. We'll only come to the U.S. as a family.