Happy times wandering around Hanoi with my friend Andy

The visit from my friend Andy has been everything I hoped it would be. We did some small-scale traveling, going to Ho Chi Minh City for a couple of days and to Hanoi for three days.We packed a lot of life into our Hanoi visit. We ate superb street food -- deep fried pork spring rolls; I enjoyed rabbit stew at the Green Tangerine, a wonderful service-oriented French-Vietnamese restaurant in Hanoi's Old Quarter; I had a unique and satisfying "avocado and bacon" salad at New Day; we drank egg coffee at Cafe Giang, one of the many Hanoi hipster/tourist coffee shops; we took a bus tour of the city, hitting all of the hot spots, including the Hanoi Hilton; we shopped everywhere we went and I was able to buy a new travel bag for cheap after the one I brought ripped; and we walked -- and walked and walked and walked. Getting lost enhanced our pedestrian adventures, and Andy was a real trooper, stomping around with an artificial hip that was put in two months ago. The White Monkey has few skills, but I can walk indefinitely, probably because of my Glen Helen hiking experience in Yellow Springs, Ohio. The eeriest site I saw was the body of Ho Chi Minh lying in state at the mausoleum in Hanoi. Ho Chi Minh's body is well-preserved, and our quick walk-by was fascinating. Four young soldiers stood at attention around the body and, of course, cameras are not permitted. We didn't see any tears or real emotion of any kind; people stoically walked quickly past the glass case with the body, and then took their selfies and photos outside the mausoleum near the exit.
We stayed at the Hanoi Focus Hotel, which was reasonably priced -- about $80 USD a night. There was a balcony to see some of the sights of the city, which in this case was noisy building construction. Our air conditioner unit rattled annoyingly outside my bedroom, but I brilliantly bent the metal cover and propped a chair against the unit to halt the noise and sleep like a baby on night two.
I was impressed with Hanoi more than I thought I would be, considering all the warnings I've heard about the "sour" people  there. The warnings came from some folk in Bien Hoa, where I've met more than my share of sour folks. Anyway, the Hanoi Focus Hotel is in the Old Quarter, and people in that part of town are friendly and know how to handle the constant flow of tourists. The locals understood my limited Vietnamese, and even complimented my rudimentary conversational skills. Not once did anyone shake a hand in my face to say "no" or "not available". But again, the area is used to seeing foreigners, and the locals understand that common courtesy can increase business.
The weather is wonderful in Hanoi, or at least it was wonderful while we were there. It was partly cloudy with temperatures ranging from 48 degrees to 66 degrees (Fahrenheit). Lovely.
Hanoi has more cars than Ho Chi Minh, and motorcycles have their own lanes on many roads and highways. The motorcyclists in Hanoi weren't particularly aggressive; they're more aggressive and stupid in Ho Chi Minh and sometimes they're aggressive, stupid and hostile in Bien Hoa -- yesterday, a bouncer at one of the karaoke establishments on Vo Thi Sau rode his motorbike behind me and Andy as we walked on the sidewalk and laid on his horn until we moved, riding way too close to us as he went by with a young boy on the bike. The guy looked ready to fight, setting a wonderful behavioral example for the boy.
Andy watched Phuong whip me twice in tennis, and was impressed with my wife's grittiness and determination to win. At night we drank some of the quality beers we bought in Ho Chi Minh -- a flavorful Dutch imperial stout called Bloedbroeder; a beer made in Vietnam called Ranger that's made under the auspices of a Belgian brewer; and old standby La Trappe Quadrupel. Andy loved Phuong's and her mom's cooking: Hu Tieu; Bun Bo Hue; Pho; pig tongue; pig heart (my favorite); and homemade kim chi with grilled pork (by Phuong). Andy is on his way back to the U.S, and it's tough to see him go. We'll reconnect when I visit the U.S., or hopefully move there with my wife and daughter Joanna.

War museums, bad motorists, good food for my friend

A visit from my American friend Andy has been such a breath of fresh air for me here. We traveled to Ho Chi Minh City last week to visit the War Remnants Museum and the Independence Palace. We also bought some decent beer in Ho Chi Minh City, the first time since I've been able to buy interesting beer in Vietnam -- there isn't much in Bien Hoa. We ate at a top-notch seafood restaurant in HCMC, the Ngoc Suong. Typically and unfortunately, we were hassled by a couple of HCMC's finest: a motorcyclist purposefully swerved to nearly hit me, Joanna and Phuong while I was carrying Joanna on my shoulders; we had just come out of the Ngoc Suong and were walking on the left side of the small street when the helmet-less creep came from behind us to pull his intelligent maneuver or "joke" or whatever it was. The second incident on the same walk to our hotel was standard stuff. I was forced just off the sidewalk by a motorcyclist when a car parking on the curb refused to stop for me and Joanna. I had no choice but to hold my ground with Joanna and the car stopped about two feet from my legs. Andy said it reminded him of the guy who faced off with a tank in Tiananmen Square in 1989. Aside from the boorish behavior of the motorists, almost everyone here has been extremely civil and welcoming to Andy. They should be. He's one of the kindest and brightest people I know. In addition to being a quality photographer, he plays an incredible harmonica. In fact, gift-bearing Andy arrived here with a harmonica for Joanna. Our daughter has decided to be shy with Andy, clinging mostly to my wife Phuong when Andy is around, but Joanna took to the harmonica immediately. (The video of her  jamming is on Facebook since videos can't be uploaded to blogspot.)
The Independence Palace showed mainly offices, conference rooms and the opulence which the South Vietnamese government enjoyed during the war. The War Remnants Museum displayed weaponry and countless disturbing images from the war. The museum showed the conflict from the perspective of the victors, which is rarely seen by Americans. The United States had 58,220  military personnel die in the war, while some estimates put the number of total Vietnamese deaths at about 1.5 million. I found the War Remnants museum fascinating. I recommend it.
Andy and I are planning a trip to Hanoi this week for more sightseeing and museum visiting. I've never been to Hanoi, so I'm really looking forward to it. Sage Andy made the observation that this stage of our lives should be about experiences, not about acquiring "stuff". We're both in our 60's. Like I said, his visit has been a breath of fresh air.
On a culinary note, we ate so much delicious seafood at the Ngoc Suong that I didn't even have room for dessert, a first for the White Monkey. The staff at the restaurant was wonderful to Joanna, who mostly wanted to look at the fish tank. She discovered the grouper we had for the main course and ate with gusto. I enjoyed the meal and margaritas so much that the moto-drama afterward didn't even upset me.

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Andy also had endure a tennis match between me and Phuong. The heat wasn't as bad as usual, a mere 90 degrees fahrenheit, which was more grueling for us than our guest. We'll play again Sunday. Andy wants to visit a Catholic church and attend mass, but I've warned him the church is hot and the services are long and extremely serious. We'll go to Vincom and then see about the church service.

Shutdown may mean slowdown for visa; childish behavior

I pushed the publish button by mistake -- instead of the save button -- on a handful of notes for my next blog, so the  notes were published as an actual blog, which would make no sense to anyone who actually reads the drivel I write in this space.  Whatever. The mistake prompted me to actually write a blog, so here goes.
I'm not sure since I'm reluctant to bother my lawyer, but I believe the U.S. government shutdown will slow down our efforts to get a spousal visa for my wife to come to the United States with me and our daughter. We put in the request last April, and things like this can take a year or longer for a response in the best of times. No word yet, and my gut along with guys like Anderson Cooper are telling me that the government shutdown could have dire consequences for a lot of people. The current U.S. president seems to be creating a lot of dire consequences for a lot of people. But our situation isn't really dire. It's more like inconvenient given the weather and dangerous traffic here in Vietnam. I sweat a lot and take taxis or walk, which isn't the worst thing that could happen by any stretch of the imagination. Unfortunately, my daughter and I will never be accepted here because we're a different race -- we're not 100 percent Vietnamese and we "look different." This fact gets pointed out to us nearly every day in our neighborhood -- with incessant staring and people telling us we "look different." And I've lived in this neighborhood five years, so I don't think that situation will change.
But for the most part, kids all over the world are OK because most of them don't care about skin and hair color or facial features. So far, my daughter shows no interest in what people look like. She cares more about wild animals and all kinds of fish -- and language and talking. Joanna asked her cousin in English if he wanted to go see the fish tank where we play tennis on Saturdays and Sundays. He didn't understand so she asked him in Vietnamese. He got it and off they went as Phuong whipped me 3-6, 3-6 on Sunday to reclaim the No. 1 ranking in our household. Regardless, I believe my daughter Joanna will do well no matter where we end up.

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Here's a small tennis sidebar which might give you some insight into my circumstances and the mentality of some people here. I'm serving in a match with Phuong, when a construction worker stops working to watch us. His staring was a little over the top, but I smiled and bowed my head and started to serve. This guy yelps like a hyena in heat just as I'm about to serve, then laughs hysterically (like a hyena) and tells the other workers how he distracted the white guy serving. They're laughing, too. Phuong put her finger to her lips to shush the hyenas, and they sort of quieted down. Well, it is funny for a grown man to act like a juvenile and distract the White Monkey, who pays to play tennis. Adults and older teen-agers have performed this intelligent stunt about 10 times while I've been playing tennis here. Not dire, but inconvenient and immature. And really, some people are so nice to us here when we play. Yin and yang for the man of chi.

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I'm very excited about seeing and spending time with my friend Andy. His visit gives us an excuse to visit some local landmarks and eat some top-notch food. Welcome, Andy.

Staffer hits friend's kid at daycare; terrible red ants; hot!

My wife's friend has a child almost the same age as Joanna, close to 30 months old. This poor kid was slapped at least twice by one of the employees at a daycare center in Bien Hoa where the little girl used to go.  Phuong and I watched a video of the incident, which the dad sent us. It's incredibly disturbing. This is what the dad told us: The baby, who I'll call baby Chap,  accidentally bumped into another child. The other child was fine and didn't take offense, but the staffer seemed angry. The staffer slapped Chap's bottom. Then baby Chap didn't want to take a nap, and the staffer, a woman who is pregnant, straddled the child on the "nap mat" so she couldn't get up, and used a towel to hold her down. That's when we saw the staffer slap the toddler twice with an open hand -- on her leg and bottom -- on the video. We also saw the woman using the towel to control the child, but because of the camera angle at the daycare center we couldn't see exactly how the towel was used to restrain baby Chap. We cringed at the thought the towel might have been across the baby's face.  The dad told my wife he complained to the police, but their reaction was to request that the baby and staffer "re-enact" the incident. The dad said no thank you, and that ended the police involvement. We know the parents and child. The parents seem wonderful and caring, and the child is sweet as can be. Baby Chap didn't scream or fight back on the two videos we saw -- they're about two and a half minutes apiece. The whole thing rattled me and Phuong.  Joanna and I walk by a daycare center pretty close to our house quite often. It's the one with the Disney characters and Winnie the Pooh gang on the outside wall. I hear the women speaking rather sharply to the kids, but I hope part of that is just how the language is spoken here. The tones can sound extremely harsh. I tell people who raise their voice at me that shouting doesn't help me understand what you are saying any better.  It might help me understand you a little better, but not what you're saying. Raising your voice most likely intimidates little children. I care a lot about this because there's a remote possibility Joanna could go to school here if my wife is never granted a visa to enter the United States. I don't want strangers, or teachers, or anyone else slapping Joanna, or any other child. Joanna is extremely sensitive about being disciplined in any way (see the blog about a security guard yelling at her 12/23/2018). I don't want my daughter going to a school where corporal punishment is accepted or tolerated in any form.

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When Joanna and I go to the park our routine now includes a visit to a tree containing tons of red ants. For Joanna, the adjectives HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE are part of the name of the red ants. When Joanna approaches the tree -- and she often gets way too close -- she'll point and say HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, RED ANTS. This nomenclature stems from the fact she was once covered with red ants while rolling around on the grass near a tree, and I told her that red ants are ... well, horrible and terrible. That brought the message home about red ants, but she watches them every day in fascination as they march up and down the tree. HORRIBLE. TERRIBLE. And she still gets way too close to them and tries to touch them sometimes. HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE, RED ANTS.

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The heat is back on here after a week of relatively pleasant weather that saw temperatures plunge into the high 80s. Last weekend Phuong and I played tennis in 94-degree weather (Jan. 6), and of course the match was an epic struggle that wiped us out Sunday night and most of Monday. We only played one set but it went to a tiebreaker with the final score 10-8. One game had eight deuce points and lasted 15-20 minutes. Our clothes were soaked and after the match we just sat there staring into space for a few minutes. Meanwhile, Joanna and her cousin raced around the court with a soccer ball.  It's Wednesday and we're still talking and laughing about the match. The heat hasn't let up any, either.