Finally in U.S. after enduring Beijing blues; 'Big King'

First and foremost, hello to my beautiful wife Phuong and incredible baby Joanna; miss you and love you both.

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I arrived in Elkton, Md., after the usual trials and tribulations of traveling through Beijing. My flight from Ho Chi Minh to Beijing was delayed nearly an hour by rain. A staffer from Air China assured us that the connecting flight in Beijing would wait for us. Of course, it didn't wait, and some of us got stuck in Beijing airport waiting in horrible lines, dealing with rude staffers who didn't speak English, and drinking coffee for nine hours before we were finally bused to a hotel an hour away. We arrived too late for dinner and left too early for breakfast. The bus took us back to the airport and the flight to Dulles in Washington D.C. was relatively smooth. The four movies I watched -- Kill the Messenger; Deepwater Horizon; American Pastoral; In the Heart of the Sea -- weren't bad and certainly helped pass the time on the 13-plus-hour flight. Unfortunately, Beijing airport is flat-out disorganized. The price of the round trip flight is more than reasonable, but the airport is unacceptable. You get what you pay for. I met two gentlemen -- Tom of Bel Air, Md., and Trung of Ho Chi Minh City -- who were in the same mess I was in, and we passed the time together making silly jokes, solving world problems and drinking coffee. The extended layover would have really sucked without their company. Thank you gentlemen.
Getting a rental car was a little tricky because there weren't many available, but after some extended walking around the outskirts of the airport, I got a Mazda. I drove through D.C. rush-hour traffic to get to Elkton. The trip took four hours, which is rather long for the distance, but after Beijing, I didn't mind sitting in the car after sitting and standing around a crowded and hot airport.
I got to my buddy Ron's house about 8 p.m., drank a wonderful Oude Gueuze lambic purchased at State Line Liquors, and fell asleep about a half-hour later. Slept like a baby. It's been great visiting with Ron and his classy son Travis and Travis' partner, Angel. Nice folk and very generous as well.  Adding to my pleasant visit so far has been some very pleasant weather -- 85 in the day, mid-60s at night, with pretty low humidity. I cooked Atlantic salmon and vegetables with curry and garlic at Ron's last night, and it came out quite well -- the late Anthony Bourdain would have been proud, maybe. I have the usual travel to Ohio coming up to see my eye doctor, property manager for my house, and our immigration lawyer. I'm happy that my friends seem to be doing well. I plan to see friends Andy, Freddie and John, and visit with family. I'm a little less jazzed about returning to the U.S. to live, given the sour mood of the country related to the Trump presidency. The country seems divided to me, and the hope I felt under the Obama presidency appears to be missing now. Aw, what the hell do I know?

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While in transit in China, I lost some gifts I got for my kids, but they're just things and things can be replaced. Family can't ... and that's another of the lessons I've learned being overseas for so long.  I visited my mom and dad's grave site outside Newark, Del., for the first time since they died. I'll put some flowers on the graves today, but I'm not one for grave sties. Of course I miss them, but these days I try to honor their lives by following the good examples and lessons I learned from their lives, especially from my mom.

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I'm looking at some houses in the Wilmington and Newark area today. If Phuong, Joanna and I are ever allowed to return to the U.S., I might like for Joanna to grow up on the East Coast. It's where I grew up and I'm comfortable with the area. But Yellow Springs is awesome. We'll see.

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Watching the British Open on Ron's TV -- I'm very busy ... you don't understand. The only TV sports I watch in Bien Hoa are the four tennis majors. I didn't even watch the Super Bowl or NBA finals. Sorry LeBron. But speaking of tennis, I relinquished No.1 in the house to Phuong, who beat me 7-6 (7-5) in a heartbreaking tiebreaker. The moral of that story is that my net game and fitness need work.  My injuries are slowly improving, so it's only a matter of time before I reclaim my rightful place on the No. 1 throne. Before I came to the U. S., Joanna called me "Big King" a couple of times. She's so bright. Another reason I really, really hate being away from Phuong and Joanna.

Thieves try to break into our house; Joanna turns 2; Phuong's brother delivers ticks to our house with tank

Thieves tried to break into our house Wednesday morning at about 3 a.m. They pried open a bathroom window but encountered metal bars behind the window. Apparently, they gave up, just like they gave up trying to be successful members of society. They were successful getting into our neighbor's house, unfortunately, and stole a backpack with some cash inside. Crazy shit. People don't call the police here over stuff like this. Not sure why, but maybe this sort of thing happens a lot in Bien Hoa and police don't have time.  If I encountered someone in my house, it wouldn't be a good thing for me or the intruder. In my view, this is a dangerous, grimy and unpleasant city. Thieves kill guard dogs and break into houses routinely, people burn plastic and throw their trash into the streets routinely, and people ride their motorbikes into each other and on the sidewalks ... routinely. No need to discuss manners or weather. I really worry for my daughter, especially because everyone here is obsessed with the fact that she looks different than the other kids, and they willingly point that out to us. Geez, I never would have noticed if those kind people didn't tell Phuong and I about Joanna's "different" appearance.  Hopefully, Phuong can get a visa to come to the U.S. sooner rather than later. 

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Joanna turned 2 years old last week and my wife Phuong worked her butt off to produce a wonderful, happy and special birthday celebration for Joanna. Phuong got pizza, hung streamers, selected wonderful presents, and did everything that a loving, caring and dedicated mom does for her child. Phuong's nephews and a neighbor joined the party. They played soccer in the living room, and Joanna tried to play as well. It was a wild scene and everyone had a great time. After watching me blow out the 'No. 2' birthday candle on her cake, Joanna copied and successfully blew out the candle. Cheers all around. Phuong's mom came over with a present, but that's it. Birthdays aren't huge events here, like in the U.S., but they're celebrated and they seem to be getting bigger. This was a pretty low-keyed affair, all things considered, but it was cozy and pleasant. It's difficult to determine exactly what Joanna understands at this point. However, it was easy to tell she was having a great time and she seemed to understand the activity was on her behalf.

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I know the late Anthony Bourdain loved Vietnamese food. Me? Not so much, especially the main courses. Pho is OK and the chicken is excellent, but I'll take a Charcoal Pit burger or Grotto's pizza from Delaware in the U.S. any day. It's just how you're raised and what you consider comfort food, I guess. That said, some local fruits and vegetables I've had in Vietnam are the best I've ever had. Bon bon has become my favorite. It's the size of a kumquat; you peel and eat and sometimes you can eat the seed inside. It tastes like a mildly sweet grapefruit with the texture of a firm grape -- or something like that (I ain't Anthony Bourdain). I've written about them before, but they're so darn good and they're "in season" now, so they deserve a second mention even if they can make your hands sticky for a long time after you peel them. 

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Phuong's brother gave us the big fish stand and tank, and the package included -- at no extra cost -- about 300 ticks, which were inside the legs of the stand and the tank. We kept finding ticks everywhere and when I realized the tank and stand came from Phuong's brother's garden, the mystery was easily solved. This is the same guy who gave us the killer catfish and Tet tree with two scorpions. I told him no need to get anything else for Joanna's birthday. He's an incredibly nice man, though, and he has no fear of God's creatures great and small.

Fish story; age issues; laptop ruined; poverty

Everyone has a fish story. Here's mine:
Phuong's brother wanted to help, so he gave us a catfish for Joanna's new, improved and bigger fish tank. Her little fish tank was just too ... well, little, so we upgraded to a bigger tank with a pump. Anyway, we already had about 15 tiny tropical fish (we do live in the tropics and they're very cheap to buy here), so Joanna and the relocated little fish welcomed the big catfish into the bigger tank -- the catfish was about six inches long and really stood out among its one-inch neighbors. Phuong's brother assured us the catfish wouldn't eat the little guys, and gullible, novice fish keepers that we are, we believed him. For two days, all seemed well. The catfish acted hyper, but it stayed on the bottom of the tank, swimming fiercely back and forth but not bothering the little fish. But that restless "pacing" was an omen. When Phuong went downstairs Saturday morning to check on the tank, there were only two fish inside: a bloated, well-fed catfish and a super tiny baby fish.  Obviously, the catfish ate its neighbors, and it was most likely waiting for the baby fish to get bigger so it could eat it, too. Phuong and I had a good laugh over the catfish's tropical feast, although I'm sure the victims didn't find the situation funny. Joanna didn't care and focused her attention on the catfish. The catfish was sent to a pond on a property owned by Phuong's brother, and Phuong went to a fish shop and bought about 20 little fish for the tank. Water world is wonderful and peaceful again, except for Joanna constantly trying to climb inside the bigger tank. She actually laughs when I almost put her inside the tank in my pathetic effort to teach her a lesson. Joanna can smell a bluff.

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I've had some physical issues lately related to past surgeries, accidents and lifestyle, and Phuong has mercilessly taken full advantage to reclaim to the No. 1 tennis ranking in our house, routing me in five of our last six matches. Age has clearly diminished the White Monkey's tennis skills and recuperative powers -- tai chi be damned -- but my excuse-making skills remain as strong as ever. Perhaps the brutal heat is a factor. It has taken the joy out of our daily walk. Sometimes, Joanna seems drained by the heat and humidity. She becomes a ball of energy when there is air conditioning, however, which means she perks up in the bedroom at night when it's time to go to sleep. I have to leave the room, or she'll never go to sleep.

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The mayhem in our house has extended to the electronic world as well.  The lazy White Monkey rolled over rather than sitting up to get out bed last week, and my elbow crunched the screen of my HP laptop, creating a weird LSD-like effect on the now useless screen. All my school stuff and videos for Joanna were on the HP, so I copied everything to a hard drive and transferred the files to my MacBook Pro, which is finally getting some use. Since I'm back on the Mac, I've been downloading more music lately and buying books, which also means I'm spending more money. What a dope I am. Now I'll have to teach more private students, which can be problematic for reasons stated in one of my previous blogs.

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Sometimes, the poverty here jolts you. I know I'm repeating myself on this topic, and that there are poor people everywhere, but difficult circumstances are so visible here. Just around corner from our house, a family lives on cots under a tree, and their little kids bathe in public with water from hoses that belong to a car rental business. That family lives next to two homeless guys who sleep under another tree. People rarely beg here. They're too proud for that, and even the poor will help the really poor. It's an unwritten code of sorts. The issues I occasionally face are nothing compared to what these folks deal with every day. Yet, they still smile and yell Hi! when Joanna and I go by on our walk. Makes me appreciate what I have even more, and once again, makes me realize how selfish my complaints are.

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Finished another book: The Great Gatsby ... it wasn't that great, but it was a quick read. Now I'm reading A Tale of Two Cities ... it isn't a quick read.