My first Polish student: 8-year-old Stasiu

Lucja, the CEO at Face2Face (my future employer) in Kety, Poland,  is working to get the White Monkey, Phuong and Joanna into the country. It looks like it's going to happen because of Lucja's hard work. How cool is that? Phuong will get an "invitation" to enter Poland for one year, then she can apply for a visa or residency.
I did a demonstration lesson on Skype with Lucja's 8-year-old son, Stasiu, and he's an awesome young man. For a Skype class, we had a good time and were laughing pretty good -- and his English is top-notch. The CEO's husband was very nice, and Stasiu's older brother -- I'm pretty sure that's who was also there -- was fun as well. They're a very nice family and I'm certain it will be a great experience working for them -- and with them.
I didn't realize it during the interview process, but I found out from an old newspaper buddy, Max,  that Kety is extremely close to Auschwitz, which is in Oswiecim, a town about 12 miles north of Kety.  So, in addition to the wonderful teaching opportunity, beautiful countryside and temperate climate, there's a somber and world-changing history lesson near Kety. I really want my daughter Joanna to eventually understand what took place at Auschwitz and why. It's an amazing and somewhat chilling (an apt word that Max used) opportunity for Joanna, Phuong and me.

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I've been teaching English privately since I left the language center in Bien Hoa, and I've developed a couple of good friendships with two of my students. One student, My (pronounced Me), is going to attend a university in Toronto. She's a very smart girl and her English is very, very good. She's waiting for her visa  and will no doubt be leaving soon. I planned to visit her in Toronto when I returned to the U.S. for eye work, but it appears I'll be teaching in Poland and my U.S. time will be limited. My is as sweet as can be.
The other student, Sam, is one of the coolest girls I've met -- after my wife, three daughters and one granddaughter, of course. But Sam has a quick wit, a quick mind, and her English is improving rapidly -- and not because of her teacher. Sam learns fast and remembers, and has a great sense of humor. I came to class dressed in a blue shirt and blue pants one morning, and Sam says: "Oh, hi Blue Monkey." I'll really miss her when I leave. The great thing about teaching privately is that you can choose your students. I've had a few that didn't work out. Good people, but like I said, it didn't work out ... so I don't teach them.

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Joanna does this weird Frankenstein walk around the house -- she locks her knees and swings each leg around.  I saw her and said "Stomp, stomp, stomp." I was incorrectly copying one of her books where the Llama character goes "thump, thump, thump." Big boo-boo. Joanna thought I was staying "stop, stop, stop." and burst into tears and cried for at least a couple of minutes. Phuong and Sam figured out the problem. I was too stupid to get it at first. Oops.
We have to park our motorbikes in the living room or they'll get stolen. Naturally, Joanna climbs to the seats and sits there like she's riding a bike. She's fallen a few times and cries, but is no worse for the wear other than scrapes and bruises. Lucky, I guess. She also climbs into her stroller constantly because she loves going out and going to the park. The motorbike riders and car drivers make walking to the park nerve-wracking.

* * *

I taught Phuong how to serve, and now she's real trouble. She beat me 3-6 on Saturday. I was winning the second set 4-1, and an angry Phuong smashed the ball in my direction on the changeover and the ball hit me in the man zone. I buckled over, for real, and the match ended. I claimed a 7-7 tie on aggregate points, and an 8-7 overall victory for the point I received due to Phuong's unsportsmanlike conduct. The WTA is reviewing.
An angry White Monkey dominated the rematch yesterday 6-0, 5-3 (retired due to Joanna). Tai is wonderful with Joanna, but the creep beat me 4-6 after taking care of our daughter for an hour.

* * *

It looks like I'll be going to the U.S. for a short visit starting Jan. 9, then heading to Poland on Jan. 16, and working my way back to Vietnam in the middle of February to bring Joanna and Phuong to Kety (I'll miss them super much). It should be cold and rainy or snowy in Kety, and I couldn't be happier.
HAPPY NEW  YEAR TO ALL ESPECIALLY TO MY CHILDREN IN THE U.S.!

Merry Christmas to my family in the United States; I've accepted a teaching job in Kety, Poland

Special Christmas edition blog.
I want to wish a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year (happy holidays!) to my children and granddaughter in the United States -- and everyone else I know, have known, and will know. I don't like being away from my family in the U.S., whether they want to see me or not. I hope to get back there to live with Phuong and Joanna in the future. Until then, I hope to be blogging and raising my family in Kety, Poland. Who knows, maybe we'll settle there.
Oh yes, that reminds me. It looks like our family will be on the move. I've accepted a job teaching English in Kety, Poland, with a company called Face2Face. Now, the hard part begins. The CEO is working on getting a visa for Phuong to live in Poland. I'm extremely motivated to work there because I believe the CEO is a bright and compassionate woman, the small town of Kety near the border with the Czech Republic looks lovely, and the weather is cloudy and temperate. I have no doubts the students will be great. They were great in Vietnam and mucho (mas?) great in Peru. Face2Face uses the direct method, which may be challenging at first, but a motivated White Monkey has the ability to produce quality. Like I said, I'm motivated. The direct method uses only English, a question and answer format much of the time with lots of conversation, and no real grammar instruction ...  to speak of (ha ha). Even though I've been referred to as Grammar John, I'm sure I'll adapt and deliver the best lessons I can.
If things don't work out with Phuong and the visa, I can't take the job because I can't separate the family.  I've been down that road before and it doesn't work. And Joanna really needs her dad -- who else will stop her from walking on the kitchen table during meals and watching cartoons? I'll be extremely upset and disappointed if we can't move, but my wife and daughter and I will be together, and that's how it should be and will be. But I have the utmost confidence in the woman I'll be working for in Poland; I believe she can move mountains for Phuong.

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My lovely wife Phuong really enjoyed making kimchi in Seoul, and now she's making it for us at home in Vietnam. Phuong knows I like hot stuff, and she laid it on thick in the first batch. The White Monkey was swinging from the chandeliers. Well, we don't have chandeliers, but we have four bathrooms. Anyway, Phuong is a perfectionist -- worse than me -- and she's been tinkering with her recipe. Fantastic stuff and a fantastic wife.

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Our daughter Joanna has an amazing skill like every child. In a pile of 50 toys, she can find the one item she shouldn't have -- a pair of scissors, or nail clippers, or lotion. Why is that stuff with her toys? Because she puts it there, of course. She grabs the air conditioner remote and cranks up the fan. She still turns off the fan downstairs, where we need it. She still shakes her head no when we pray before meals, and I laugh because it's funny. In my pre-meal prayer, I sometimes thank God we don't go to church anymore because noisy, energetic, and full of life babies aren't welcome. Joanna still shakes her head no.
Joanna has taken a shine to coffee. She loves the foam when I get cappuccinos and she'll sip regular coffee out of the mug and go "MMMMMM" like it's the best stuff she's ever had.  Funny kid.
I mistakenly gave Joanna seaweed with wasabi. She loves the green seaweed that looks like a sheet of paper, and I thought that's what I was feeding her. Well, I was giving her the normal looking seaweed, but there was wasabi in it. I usually taste everything I give her, but I let this one pass because I thought it was regular seaweed. Anyway, Joanna ate it, and started crying. Not crazy crying, but crying. I gave her orange juice and water and she cooled off. Then, she sneakily reached for the wasabi-infused seaweed again, snagged a piece, cried again, drank again, and reached again. Kids are the greatest. No exciting Joanna news otherwise. She got Bluetooth headphones, a Mr. Microphone, and a clock for Christmas. She's still big and growing, smiles, fusses and talks more, and is communicating at a higher level every day. She's such a source of joy. She'll do well in Poland, no doubt, although she'll be dealing with yet another language. But so will Phuong and I.
I think we'll all enjoy Poland, if we can get there.

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If a handful of people read this blog, I should reach 30,000 hits all-time. Reader No. 30,000 gets a special prize: A collection of all my blogs I'm putting together (with photos). But since I'll have no idea who reader No. 30,000 is, never mind.

A trip to South Korea: We got Seoul but we're not soldiers

We just got back from a four-day trip to modern, clean and expensive Seoul, and we loved the city even though it was freezing cold. Joanna and Phuong had a tough time adjusting to the cold weather and our cramped traveling and living conditions, but they persevered. I loved all of it, even the high prices, since high prices minimize riff-raff.
The only way Joanna would fall asleep on the bus and in the plane was if I sang to her. Thank God I remembered most of the words. If I tried to improvise lyrics, Joanna would know and start to cry. I estimate that I sang for at least five hours to Joanna -- If You're Happy; Wheels on the Bus; ABC (the long version I use for class); One Little Finger; Itsy Bitsy Spider; Hickory Dickory Dock; Patty-cake; and on and on and over and over. It worked every time.

• • •

Highlights and lowlights of the trip:
• First, I don't recommend traveling with a 17-month-old who's a bit on the "active" side, especially with a bush league airline like Vietjet Air. Our plane was cramped and the flight attendants were dismissive and surly. No food, no drinks, nothing for a 51/2-hour flight. Unless you paid.
• It was a typical tour -- go go go. But our travel-mates were fantastic. They pampered and put up with a whining, crying Joanna. They chatted with me in their best English. All of them were very good people.
• It was cold the entire time in Seoul -- 10 to 32 degrees fahrenheit (-12 to 0 C). A highlight for me and Joanna, but a lowlight for airsick and bus-sick Phuong. However, Phuong took dramamine and bundled up. She adapted and liked Korea.
• We flew a red-eye to Seoul, then ate kimchi, and cabbage and pork soup, saw snow at a ski resort and froze our butts off at Nami Island, a nice but touristy place with sculptures and carvings and lots of ice. 
• We forgot the stroller, so we carried Joanna a lot. I did much of the bull work. You should check out my "guns" now. We were exhausted and never really recovered. But Phuong made kimchi one day, we went to a ginseng lab, seaweed lab, pine extract lab, ate more kimchi and pork soup, went shopping, ate more kimchi, did some more shopping, ate some udon noodles with a side of kimchi, and had a mediocre dinner at a Korean country restaurant -- chicken, potatoes, carrots, onions, rice noodles.
• Grilled fish was the best meal we had. Salty, spicy, and plentiful.
• The highlight of the trip for me was reconnecting with an old friend, Jon Knibloe (Phuong calls him Jon K), who taught with me in Peru. Jon has been teaching in Korea for the past six years and really enjoys it. He came to our hotel, met Phuong, and watched Joanna sleep for a little bit. Then we went out and drank beer and solved most of the world's problems as we reminisced about Peru and shared observations about teaching in Asia. A wonderful time.
• The last night, Phuong and I chose not to go to a show we already saw in Thailand. We took a taxi, but the driver had no idea how to get to our hotel -- and he had GPS. Must be an Asian thing because we have the same trouble sometimes in Vietnam. Anyway, we were dropped off God-knows-where, but a fantastic Korean policeman got out of his car and walked us to our hotel.
• In addition to kimchi, there are coffee shops everywhere. I did see a couple of massage parlors but only one motorbike because it's too cold.
• Nobody talked about the North or the Great Leader. Even with new threats, it's old news in Seoul.
• Milk is very difficult to get. They have soy milk, but I wanted the cow variety for Joanna. After walking forever and not finding milk, I bought soy milk and jokingly asked a young Korean girl behind the counter: "Do so many people kill themselves here because they can't get cow milk?" I know, my mouth works before my brain. But the girl laughed her head off. I told you I liked Korea and Koreans.
• Since Joanna didn't super enjoy the traveling parts of the trip, it was difficult for us to enjoy it completely. But our fellow travelers were so understanding. Me? I'm a happy traveler and I was thrilled to get out of Bien Hoa. I loved Seoul and the cold. Even Phuong noticed that I wasn't negative about anything -- probably a first in the White Monkey's existence.

• • •

Seoul is pretty hip and very modern, the scenery is wonderful, the weather can be cold, but it has a temperate climate, which I like, and the people seem to love their rules and regulations. The locals are nice enough, though, and there was no staring. Seoul is an international city with big city prices. But we enjoyed it. Phuong, Joanna and I give it three thumbs up.

• • •

My former employer VMG played a crucial role in my daughter Joanna getting her resident's card in Vietnam. Without this card, Joanna could not leave the country. God bless Phuong for her hard work arranging everything, God bless VMG for their help, and, as always, God bless the United States of America.

Joanna and the life of a 'retired' White Monkey in Vietnam

Our 17-month-old daughter Joanna is 84 centimeters tall and weighs 12 kilograms. She's in the 98th to 100th percentile for both height and weight. I was a little concerned about her size until I saw she wasn't off the charts. She's a very big girl in a country where people still tend to be smaller. And her mom is Vietnamese, but Phuong is 5-foot-3-1/2 inches tall, which is tall for a woman here. When other parents find out Joanna's age, they're quite shocked at her size. They still ask if she has a special diet. Of course, she doesn't. But like any good girl, she loves her chocolate. They're also shocked she's half-Vietnamese. Some ask Phuong if she's babysitting for foreigners. Race is very important here, like anywhere else, I guess.
Joanna likes kicking a soccer ball in the park, loves doing somersaults -- front and backwards --  and enjoys throwing a tennis ball and dragging my tennis racket around the court and the house. If we're forced to move to South America, we'll get Juan Martin del Potro to be her coach. Joanna is getting handy with a fork, tries but struggles with chopsticks, and enjoys orange juice and water. She'll dance whenever she hears music, even funeral music or the music that precedes the government propaganda blared over loudspeakers all over the city each day at 5 p.m. She'll even dance when I sing, so Phuong and I suspect she's tone deaf. She'll repeat some of the ABC's when I say them, but sometimes she'll say "C" wrong on purpose and smirk at me. She can reach up and open the door to her room and escape. She can handle a remote, especially off and on, but I still don't let her watch videos and TV.  I'm not so sure that's the case when Joanna goes to her grandmom's family store. Like her dad, Joanna seems to dislike the heat. She sweats a lot and gets really cranky and thirsty. In other words, she acts -- and looks -- a lot more American than Vietnamese.
We've settled into a very nice routine here since I quit my job. I help some of Phuong's friends with their English in the morning and afterward I take care of some chores around the house. (I mistook bleach for liquid detergent and altered the color of many of our T-shirts and shorts.) While I slave for the betterment of the family and our household, Phuong and Joanna go to the park for a while, then hang out in the store that Phuong's family has in their house. I'll poke around on the internet and read about Donald Trump and North Korea and any other news of note, then hang with Joanna until I make lunch and milkshakes around 11:30. We get up early (6 a.m.) so we eat early.  After lunch, Joanna may or may not take a nap. I'll read her a bunch of books in the afternoon. Sometimes she's interested. Other times, not so much. I'll make my way to a coffee shop and then to the park for tai chi. I haven't seen the kid who yelled f$#k you! at me in the park  ... since he yelled f$#k you! at me in the park. I'm pretty sure Phuong scared the s&#t out of him when she pointed at him, and then walked toward the little weenie with a menacing look on her face. God, I love my wife. After chi, Phuong and Joanna will join me in the park for a walk and some soccer. Phuong usually cooks dinner but I'll chip in with spaghetti and hamburgers a couple of nights. At night, I read to and play with Joanna, do tai chi again, and share a beer with Phuong. Ah, the life of the 'retired' White Monkey.
In tennis, I lost to Tai 4-6 on Sunday and beat Phuong 6-1, but Joanna was a factor in both of the matches, so those scores come with an asterisk. If my net game improves, and Phuong's serve improves, we'll ... have a better net game and serve.
If we get the required paperwork for Joanna in time, we'll travel to Seoul, South Korea, for five days and four nights. We're looking forward to the cold weather and big, modern city. Hopefully, I'll meet an old buddy from Peru, Jon, and we'll share dinner, drinks, and war stories about Arequipa. Jon works in Seoul and was one of the truly wonderful people I met in Peru. Hope to see you soon, Jon.