Rain, sickness won't relent; clever Joanna doesn't hit back

The monsoon season continues to hang around, dumping quite a bit of rain on Bien Hoa, usually in the late afternoon. The rain can last anywhere from an hour to three or four hours, but we usually get the shorter version, which resembles something of a cloud burst. Maybe it's the wet, muggy weather that's gotten our family into a cycle of sickness. It's like a relay race ... Joanna passed her snot-nosed illness to me, and I've handed it off to Phuong, and the cycle has made its way back to me again. Since I'm the old fart of the bunch, I tend to get the sickest in our family. I'm really sick at the moment and can't really talk. A lot of people think that's a good thing. The young farts Phuong and Joanna shake this stuff off quicker than the old NWM. The latest virus started in my nose -- I couldn't breathe or sleep. It's now in my throat and lungs -- I can't breathe or sleep. Next stop ... ?
I'm so happy to report that Joanna is really thriving without TV and videos. Her whining has stopped. Period. Her interactions are more intelligent and decisive with almost no confrontation. The children in our neighborhood are quick to hit or push Joanna if she so much as walks toward them or puts one finger on them, or their toys. In fact, kids do quite a bit of hitting here, which doesn't shock me since I see parents whacking their kids quite a bit -- even in church. It's a very unsavory cycle, even worse than our sinus infections. But instead of crying or hitting back, Joanna pretty much ignores the aggressive kids, turning her back on them and amusing herself with another toy or a ball or whatever. The pushy kids are anywhere from 10 to 18 months older than Joanna. Some are 4, 5, or 6 years old, but Joanna certainly acts older than they do. I'm so damn proud of my daughter -- and my wife, too, for that matter, because that's who Joanna emulates. And Joanna is a really tall and sturdy girl, so those older whack-heads better be careful. What goes around ...
I figured out why Joanna always walks on her tiptoes -- it decreases the chances she'll step on a lego or wooden block or some other toy on the ground. She avoids causing great pain to her feet with her nimble walking, so Phuong and I have been practicing our tiptoe walking because I nearly ruined my right arch stepping on a rattle. I'm the NWM (New White Monkey), not the Young White Monkey I used to be.
Phuong and I are back on the tennis court, but we don't play against each other. Someone has to watch Joanna. So Phuong works on her game with Tai (my old partner), and I play a set or two against him. Our neighbor showed up with his two young sons last Sunday, and wanted to play me. I had already played a set with Tai, but agreed. My neighbor's kids yelled "Dragon ball" and other junk while I served and attempted to return serve. Needless to say, I was a little distracted and fell behind 0-3. I regrouped and trailed 4-5, but it was my serve so I was kind of excited. In other words, I battled to get "back on serve." At that moment, my opponent quit, saying he was too tired to finish the match. Whatever. Fifteen minutes later, he was back on the court with Tai hitting forehands. This same guy quit on me before under similar circumstances. At the old court where clowns walked across the court during my matches, some other guy quit as I rallied from a 2-5 deficit to tie our match 5-5. He was tired, too. Draw your own conclusions. "Dragon ball!"
Phuong and I walk to the park nightly since I'm almost finished with the language center -- I have about 3 classes remaining over the next three weeks. We enjoy the walks, but the litter everywhere is so disheartening. The park gets super trashy sometimes. The streets leading to the park are horrible, and the smelly canal (open sewer) that runs along the park is filled with garbage. And guys fish there. Catch of the day? This town has some potential, but trash, pollution and aggressive motorbike riders make it less than pleasant. I've gotten used to the staring and glaring, but I'll never accept the filthy environment and littering.
 Joanna loves kicking a soccer ball and avoiding punches from neighborhood kids at the park. Other than the smell, trash and violence, it's a wonderful experience for all of us. Really. The other moms are sweet as pie and the other dads smile and give me a thumbs-up. I've said it before. There are some incredibly nice people here along with the ... other folk.
Phuong was rejected on her Canadian tourist visa, so I'm considering travel options with Joanna. We're super close and buddy-buddy these days, but I'm not sure Joanna could handle a trip across the really big pond without her mom. As always, we'll see how things shake out, since I'm not optimistic Phuong will ever be able to leave Vietnam.

Nobody likes a quitter except my family

Being at home and not having to go to work is awesome. I could do this for a living. The pay isn't great but time is money, and I've got loads of time. I see my wife and daughter all day, every day. I read to Joanna constantly. I exercise, help with the laundry and cooking, do dishes, and generally get in my wife's and daughter's way all the time. By the way, this is the same stuff I did before I quit my job at a language center, but one difference is that I'm much happier now.
I've noticed that when she isn't running full speed into furniture and walls, Joanna walks on her tiptoes. I'm not sure what that's about, but it's so cute. In fact, everything Joanna does is cute and it's so great to be home to see it. I know my other children were remarkable as well, but I had a damn job and other issues involving alcohol at the time. I missed so much.
I won a crucial and important battle with my wife Phuong involving Joanna. Our little sweetheart was becoming whiny and demanding. So the NWM (that's me) issued an edict: No more videos or television for Joanna. That meant no more Itsy Bitsy Spider or If You're Happy or Goodnight Moon videos before bedtime. The first two nights (and days) were a little difficult, but then our brilliant daughter brilliantly adapted by bringing more books to her dad to read, and playing more with her toys. We bought some blue-colored play sand and assorted digging toys, and she has dug right in, so to speak. The whining has stopped and so has her demanding behavior. She's now trying to speak more, saying "fish, mommy, daddy, kitty, cheese," and other words -- in English, of course. The pronunciation isn't flawless, but I understand, and more importantly, she's trying to speak and play instead of sucking her finger and staring at a screen. The NWM (New White Monkey) is proud of this edict and even more proud of Phuong for eventually seeing things my way on this issue. Now if I can just convince her that cigarettes and lots of beer aren't that bad ... just kidding. I've gone 19 months without a cigarette and share a beer every other night or so with Phuong. The supermarket at Vincom carries La Trappe Trappist Quadruple, a very good and strong (Alc.10% volume) beer made in The Netherlands.
I have two classes over two weeks at my soon to be former language center. That's good, but I'm scheduled to teach a group of 7-, 8- and 9-year-olds both times. I've taught them twice before. The kids and I are starting to hit it off, but I don't think that matters much now. A class I've worked with quite a bit that was beginning to turn into a special group was taken off my schedule, so now I can say farewell to my farewell tour. Whatever. I told my boss that I thought I was making good progress with the class I no longer teach now, and she "joked": "I guess you did one good thing while you were here." Maybe that creepy teacher was right when he "joked" that the staff and other teachers were celebrating my resignation.
Regardless, I'll remain forever grateful that VMG took me back as a teacher after my multiple motorbike accidents, especially the first one four years ago that put me in a Thailand hospital for a week and continues to give me periodic dizzy spells and headaches. (My son Jack may have saved my life by getting me out of a Ho Chi Minh City hospital and sending me to the Thailand hospital, and my son Alec and my ex-wife Lynda flew to Bangkok from the U.S. to visit. At least I can remember these things now.)
I want to say a special thanks to a woman staffer named Nguyen (a very unusual Vietnamese name -- ha ha), who would help me get pizzas for my students and headphones for my head. And there's Joy, but I thanked her in my last blog, so I'm done with her  :).
The students here are incredible. They work hard, they learn fast and they practically never hold a grudge. They're awesome and are always smiling. Hats off to all of them. I'll miss them for sure.
Finally, there's one woman who's so cool, so hot, so wow, and so nice that I quit my job so I could spend every minute with her (and our daughter). Phuong, my incredible wife, got me computers, a printer, found my keys and wallet every day, and somehow always knew where my books were. And there's a wild little girl who's part of this package. Quitting was the right thing to do for many reasons, but No. 1 is Phuong and Joanna. Really, they made my decision a no-brainer.

I quit my job at language center in Bien Hoa

I quit my job at VMG this week. I gave 31 days notice since I'm the consummate professional (hold your laughter, please) and I truly respect my employer. My last day will be Nov. 10, 2017, which means I will have worked (rare use of the future perfect tense) at VMG language center for 4 years, 8 months and 1 week as an English teacher. But who's counting besides VMG and the NWM (New White Monkey)?  I was told by another teacher that the staff and teachers at VMG were celebrating my resignation. Fake news? Could be. I'm sure a few students are happy to see me leave. But I never, ever cheated any students on preparation for class. I had a thorough plan for EVERY class and I respected the students. The only time I lost my cool was when it was clear to me that students were being intentionally disrespectful. That rarely happened -- I can remember maybe three times in almost five years. Not bad, really. I want to thank fellow teacher Joy Cao Bogart for supporting me, providing advice and worksheets, and being a great friend. There are many people to thank, but Joy has stood by the NWM through the good and bad times. That's what friendship is about, because I've had my share of difficulties here. Sadly, I didn't make any friends among Vietnamese teachers in nearly five years at VMG. A few were nice and some were cordial, but that's the extent of it. However, I did meet the most wonderful woman in the world in Bien Hoa City -- Pham Thi Ngoc Phuong -- who became my wife and the greatest mom in the world to the best little girl in the world, Joanna Pham Millman. I now know I'm the luckiest man in the world because of Phuong, Joanna, and my children in the United States, who probably don't want their names mentioned here. My wife and children are intelligent, caring and genuine people. My children in the U.S. have grown into successful adults, thanks primarily to my first wife Lynda, another quality human. I told you I was a lucky man. I never said smart, but I'll stand by lucky.
I'm actually getting through to a couple of the Speed Racers on our street. Twice, I saw a couple of guys approaching our house close to the 100KMH mark, so I stood in the street with my long staff held out in front of me. But I've softened my approach, smiling and gently using the staff to urge the riders to slow down. The younger guys get it, but the older losers and young girls couldn't care less. One young, helmet-less girl, no more than 17, sped up and raced right past me as I urged her to slow down a bit. She's not a quality human. The neighbors continue to stare in disgust at the vigilante NWM (credit to Ron for this expression) as I beg speeders to ease up.
A woman who lives in a giant house across the street from the park we take Joanna to won't put her trash out in front of her house for pickup. Instead, she carries it across the street and leaves it under a tree in the park, where roaming dogs and assorted chuckleheads rip it to shreds, spreading her waste everywhere. Classy, huh? One day, after she "dropped off" her trash, she gave me the NWM stare, and continued to stare as she crossed the street. Two clowns on a bike didn't slow down, of course, and had to swerve wildly at the last second to avoid hitting her. She laughed. Too bad they didn't hit her -- it would have served all three losers right.
Joanna chewed up my favorite headphones, making them useless. So I did what any responsible adult would do. I took them down to the park and threw them under a tree for pickup. Not really, but it's fair to say that I wasn't pleased.  

Great gifts, wild child, two more accidents

My sister-in-law, who has said about six words to me in three years, gave Phuong and I some kimchi that she made. Kimchi is a popular Korean dish made from salted and fermented vegetables, such as cabbage, ginger, onions, radishes, and hot red peppers. Or something like that. It's very popular in Korea, but has been catching on in Vietnam as well in the past year or so. Like red lipstick.. Anyway, the first batch she gave us was heavy on ginger and light on red pepper. "Real" kimchi is usually very spicy. I mentioned to Phuong that additional red peppers would make the kimchi more authentic and it would probably taste better. My silent sister-in-law came back with the second batch and it's amazingly good. Actually, it's better than any kimchi I've had at the Korean restaurants here or have purchased in the markets. It's hot as hell but it also has a wonderful flavor. I can't stop eating it, even though it can be a little rough on the system. Let's just say it has remarkable cleansing powers. I went over to my in-laws' house, where my sister-in-law lives with her husband (Phuong's brother), their two children, and Phuong's mom and dad, and thanked her and told her the kimchi was excellent. She stared at me and didn't say anything. That's fine as long as she keeps making the kimchi. And she's very good with our daughter, Joanna.
A couple of neighbors on our street have been very kind to Joanna and our family. The family next door with the rowdy son brought two toys for Joanna and the boy made sure he was the one who gave Joanna the presents. A family across the street brought us a Chinese lantern sort of thing, which lights up and "sings" a song when you push the "on" switch. Moon festival stuff. Very kind. And the lantern family gave us a chunk of cake, which was loaded with whipped cream and chocolate. I liked it.
Our nearly 15-month-old daughter is learning to play mom and dad against each other, crying and gaining sympathy when one or the other parent disciplines her for doing something dangerous and life-threatening. And man, is she stubborn. Reminds me of my children in the U.S. And me, as well. When she digs in, she won't budge. I admire her moxie, but it makes parenting tough, especially when you're my age. But not smoking or drinking has certainly helped my patience and fitness, and Joanna seems appreciative. She wants me to hold her and cuddle quite a bit. She's challenging, sometimes moody, often stubborn, but she's always a source of joy and love in our family and house.
    I saw two motorbike accidents last week. The first one I saw involved an older lady and a couple of guys who looked like construction workers -- no shirts or helmets, and wearing only flip-flops and grungy shorts. They took a left turn too wide in front of Thuy Nha coffee shop and knocked the woman off her bike. They stopped, helped her up, and in the end she was smiling. The other accident involved yours truly, the NWM (New White Monkey). I was stopped in front of Lido waiting for the traffic to clear out so I could cross the street. Two girls -- about 12 and 8 years old -- were on a bicycle waiting to cross as well. A woman riding past gave me the awkward eye and when she didn't stop staring at me, she ran into the two girls on the bike. The lady gave a startled "Oh Oh" and took off. The girls were shook up, so I escorted them across the busy intersection, daring the yahoos coming toward us to hit me. Everyone was cool, so the girls and I crossed safely together.
 Two days earlier, two women on a bike dropped a heavy box they were carrying in the middle of a  busy street. I didn't see the drop, but I saw the box and glanced and saw the women on the side of the road up ahead. I stopped in the middle of the road in front of the box, got off my bike, picked up the box and carried it to the women. They didn't really thank me, but kind of nodded, and riders on bikes that had to swerve around my bike honked their horns at me and gave me the NWM stare, not understanding what was taking place. All three incidents had relatively happy endings, which I hope results in good motorbike karma for me. God knows I  need it, and I want the same for Phuong and Joanna, who face injury or worse everyday because some clowns go 80 to 100 kilometers an hour up and down our tiny street. Our neighbors don't say anything.  They're scared because they "don't want trouble" with the crazy, wild motorbike drivers. And people who live here think I'm the clown so they laugh at me for yelling at these folk to slow down. I don't get it.
I'm not going to Lido for a while since two teens working there had no idea what I was trying to tell them when I wanted to pay my bill. I held up my money, and the kid kept pointing at my coffee. I said no, tried to say the money was for the coffee, but the kid still didn't get it. He grabbed the money and tried to put it in his pocket.  I grabbed the money back and he walked away from me and said "I don't understand" in a snarky tone. I got up and went to the counter, paid my bill, then left and watched two girls on a bicycle get hit by some genius who couldn't take her eyes off of me. Some days are better than others for the NWM.