It's cool visiting family, being in Yellow Springs

My children Alec and Jessica were waiting for me when I arrived in Columbus, Ohio. It was incredible to see them. They look great, and they even carried my luggage for me. Great kids. I hope to see Jack and Caroline on Thanksgiving. There's a lot of catching up to do since Phuong and I had a baby in July.
 I love travel and being in Yellow Springs, Ohio, but I hate being away from my wife and daughter. Unacceptable trade-off. Phuong and I talk on Skype and I can watch and listen to Joanna do baby stuff, like grunt, laugh, cry and kiss Phuong. And when I shout into my computer to get Joanna's attention, she looks around like she's expecting me to show up and sit on the bed next to her. I wish it was that easy. It makes me unbelievably happy to see Phuong and Joanna together. Phuong is so committed to motherhood, as she should be. And she's so cheerful even when she doesn't get sleep. Phuong is always smiling. Me? I'm Mr. Complain when I don't get much sleep and Mr. Complain when I get too much sleep. I never smile. Well, that's not really true, but close enough.
I love the weather and food here. It's been about 40 degrees F  or about 0 to 15 degrees C. I bought gloves, an Ohio State pullover sweatshirt/hoodie and camouflage pants to stay warm. I've eaten hamburgers, french fries, tapioca pudding, pizza, sausages, $3 muffins, hard pretzels, and stinky cheese. I drink beer, coffee and Yoo-Hoo.  And I've had some nice beers at a local brewery and my friend's apartment. My friend John has been a gracious and generous host, as usual.
Americans want to talk about the election, but there seems to be some concern about which side you were on. A truck driver staying at the Springs Motel, where I happen to be staying, was telling me how happy he was that Trump defeated that "evil woman."  He was cool about it, and didn't preach to me in any way. I responded to the "evil" comment by saying that Trump won, so it doesn't matter now. Most of the folks in Y.S. are like me concerning the election -- shocked and disbelieving. It's really difficult to grasp two words: President Trump.  I hope things work out for the best.
Gas is very inexpensive here at the moment. I have a mid-sized car, and it's OK. Driving is OK, or a little better than the motorbike. I still prefer walking.
My son Alec and I took a hike in Glen Helen and we were about to cross a small bridge when we saw a blue heron about 20 feet away standing in the creek. The blue heron is a good-sized bird, but this one seemed a little too comfortable near people, in the White Monkey's opinion.  I go to the Glen every day, even though there some construction work in progress on some of the trails. The Glen is one of the things I really miss when I'm in Vietnam.
Anyway, excited about family Thanksgiving and upcoming trip to the East Coast to see friends and family.

Leaving my wife Phuong and daughter Joanna to visit the land of Ronald Mac Donald

I have mixed emotions as I pack to go the United States early tomorrow morning (Nov. 15). I can't wait to see my children and the few people in the U.S. who let me say they're my "friends." I also need a break from the heat here, from our visa drama, and I really need some time away from work to recharge my battery. My schedule isn't heavy, but I do have classes six days a week. The most significant time off I've had this past year is from two rough motorbike accidents, gallbladder surgery, and the birth of my fifth child, the beautiful Joanna Pham Millman. I didn't even take any real time off to celebrate Phuong's divorce and our wedding (in that order). I took a week off when my son Alec came to visit, but that's pretty much it in terms of free time. And don't forget, I'm a 61-year-old White Monkey with a four-month baby and beautiful wife who has endless energy. Guess it could be worse, but my wife and baby are the reason for my conundrum. I don't want to leave them. Joanna actually recognizes me now -- she always smiles at me first thing in the morning when she sees my ugly pug. I'm usually a gummy bear (our term for a grump) in the morning, but Joanna and Phuong have me loving life in the morning. It helps that I rarely drink, quit smoking, and don't work stupid late like I did in the newspaper business. So my family in Vietnam is one big reason I have mixed emotions about traveling. The other is the elephant in the room that is president-elect Donald Trump.  It took me two days for me to get over his victory, and really, I'm not sure I'll fully recover until he's out of office. But I'm an eternal optimist, so I'll hope for the best, which means I'll hope the guy gets a clue and some class along the way. I've got a Vietnamese wife, and things are tough enough for our family when it comes to immigration and visas. I can't see that improving in the short term. So I'm leaving my beloved wife and newborn to take care of business in a country where anger, frustration and race fueled the election of a "businessman" with questionable qualifications and even more questionable character. But I'll tell you what: I'll grab Trump's you-know-what (small hand) and kiss him on the lips if he gets Phuong a visa to legally enter the United States so we can raise our daughter there, enroll our daughter in American schools, and sign our family up for Obamacare. I think Obama is a great president. Whether you agree or not, I have to believe you know he'll be missed, especially now.
But these issues won't detract from the fact I'll see my children and friends, I'll visit with my lawyer and eye doctor, I'll eat pizza, subs, barbecued beef and pork, and coffee ice cream. I'll  drink Yoo-Hoo, the delicious chocolate energy drink that I've enjoyed since I was 4 years old. The only way it gets any better than this is to have my wife and daughter with me. Maybe one day.
* Joanna got her social security card today, making her an even more official American citizen. I wonder if she'll have to pay taxes. Hell, the president-elect doesn't pay taxes any more (or at least I don't think he does), so why should she.

My kids are blessed with incredible moms

I'll be 62 years old in December when Joanna is five months old. This is no news flash, but physical conditioning and commitment will play a huge role in how effective and successful a parent I will be with Joanna. I'm trying to do my part with daily walks, no cigarettes, very minimal alcohol, tai chi, and pansy weightlifting for a balky shoulder and ailing back from my motorbike wrecks. I do my own damn laundry, cook when necessary, whip Phuong in rock-scissors-paper to do the dishes, and keep the kitchen and house pretty clean. The bathrooms are a little gritty, but I don't care since I don't eat or sleep in them. (Let me clarify: The bathrooms I use are gritty, the bathroom Phuong and Joanna use is immaculate.)
My employer, VMG, is understanding and trying to be as accommodating as possible with my schedule. Ideally, I wouldn't work at all, but I've felt that way my entire life regardless of parenting responsibilities or past employers. But in reality, I enjoy teaching and the students in Vietnam, so I'll work as long as I can. My 38-year-old wife Phuong is endless energy and has been waiting her whole life to have a baby. I can't say enough about Phuong's dedication and commitment to making Joanna's life incredibly wonderful and comfortable. But Joanna is developing a distinctive personality and Phuong and I must adjust. Joanna doesn't sleep as much as my other children did, if memory serves me well. And when Joanna is hungry, or lonely, or super tired (from not sleeping), she expresses her unhappiness in no uncertain terms, meaning she wails and screams at the top of her lungs and turns bright red in the process. On the other hand, when she gets a vaccination or smacks her head or face with a plastic toy, she hardly cries at all. Sounds like a tough kid (like mom) with a bad temper (like dad). She's only four months old, but she'll belly laugh when we play with her. However, she gets bored with our antics pretty quickly. Phuong and I like to say that Joanna is thinking: OK, that was funny once or twice, but now what are you going to do to make me laugh? She rolls over only from back to front, and only to her left. One time she rolled over so hard that she went from back to belly to back. Man, was she shocked. She likes to play with her toys by herself (thank you for the rattles, Joy) when she isn't demanding Phuong's presence. And when she expresses her need for company, Phuong is there faster than you can say whaaaaaa!
I mention all this because it brings back the wonderful memories of my four older children when they were babies and kids growing up. There were some rough moments, like in any family, but my kids turned out to be great people.  Phuong has the utmost respect for my ex-wife Lynda, since Lynda raised our four children and did an incredible job doing so. I feel the same way about Lynda. The commitment shown by Phuong and Lynda to children and family is incredibly humbling. It's made me re-think my values, my commitments, my screw-ups in the past. Maybe the White Monkey should stop thinking ... and start doing.
I can say now that I'm blessed to have met Phuong and have another child, even at the age of 62. On second thought, make that: Especially at the age of 62.