When I take a shower in the Nha Nghi hotel, which is quite often, I'm reminded of my days in Peru. The water is heated by solar energy, like Peru, the supply is limited, like Peru, and when the days are cloudy or rainy ... well, cold showers can be quite invigorating. Like Peru. Morning showers are the coldest, so I'm always wide awake for my Saturday and Sunday morning classes. I use the washcloth-and-fast-rinse method, so it's not so horrible. And when we do have hot or warm water, Phuong makes sure to take a nice, long shower. Rainy season has finally slowed down, so the warmer water has been more plentiful. Phuong and I plan to have a solar water heater in our house. Go green.
Being an egomaniac, I always follow the number of hits my blog gets and where the hits are coming from. Last week I had views from six continents -- only the third or fourth 'time that's happened. Africa rarely reads me -- and the people there don't know what they're missing. But last week I had a couple of hits from Nigeria, and I'm going to guess that someone from that country sent me a weird voodoo message, saying I could improve my wealth and love life with the help of a little voodoo. My love life is fine these days, but I'll need more than a little voodoo to help my financial situation. Whatever. I have nearly 16,000 hits overall, so that's kind of cool. I told you I was an egomaniac.
My new teeth are in place, and they feel pretty good. They're going to take a little getting used to, but overall I'm very pleased with the job the dentist did, and how my mug looks. It would have been more than 10 times more expensive to get the same dental work done in the USA, so now I really have a reason to smile and show off my new pearly whites. Thank you Dentist Thu. And, the dentist was a very nice person and gave the White Monkey a bunch of bananas to eat after fixing my bridge.
I've had students making Halloween masks in class the past week or so. Halloween is celebrated here, but it's not a big deal like in the USA, where a lot of people use it as an excuse to consume massive amounts of alcohol. Really scary. But most of the students here, especially the older ones, really enjoy the project. Some boys, about 11 to 14 years old, are a little too cool to participate. I totally understand, because I was little too cool for a lot of things when I was younger. The students actually pick up some English when they make the masks: words like mask (duh), scissors, glue, paste, ghost, and goof off.
I lost to Phuong 6-0 last week in our bitter tennis rivalry, but courageously came back this week to win three straight sets and take back the title. My hip, injured in a fall a few weeks ago, is completely healed, so I'm moving like a gazelle again, or at least like a graceful wildebeest. Phuong and I played doubles together, and we got beat 6-2 by two guys with a combined age of 154. Really. One guy is 84 and the other guy is around 70. We had fun and we're playing them again tomorrow.
I'm super excited about returning to the USA in a few weeks. I'll be crazy busy with eye work, a visit to an immigration lawyer, a visit to a Catholic church. The lawyer and church visits are in preparation for getting Phuong a visa so we can get married in the USA. If the church rejects us, we'll go to Las Vegas and get married by an Elvis impersonator. At least that's my plan.Thank you very much.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Sunday, October 18, 2015
The tongue was wonderful
Our small room in the hotel/motel is a big challenge. I have lots of books and Phuong has lots of computer gear, so we're knocking things over all the time, tripping over everything and somehow losing track of our stuff. And, of course, everything is built for a smaller person. The sink, closet and fridge are low to the ground, so my back and mending hip are put to the test. I'm also tested by the four flights of stairs I walk a few times a day. The knob on our door started sticking, so I poured pure virgin olive oil all over it, and presto, good as new. That's one of my great accomplishments in Vietnam. We're making do and our relationship survives, despite the Nha Nghi.
We do have crazy neighbors -- an old Italian guy and his younger Vietnamese girlfriend. They scream and yell at each other every day and throw trash out the fourth-floor window. We got fed up one day -- I yelled at them to take their stupid fights outside and Phuong left a note by the door telling them to stop throwing trash out the window.
I got an X-ray of my messed-up teeth for the dentist. That was interesting -- the X-ray room has paint chipping off the walls and a metal bed. Other than an X-ray machine, that was it. The X-ray guy had me hold the X-ray plate in place with my thumb, and he put me in a semi-sit-up position for my photo op. I guess the photo was OK. The price was certainly right -- $1.50 USD.
I gave the X-ray to the dentist on Friday, and she yanked out my crumbling bridge (top, front, four teeth) on Sunday. The process was surprisingly painless, but she didn't give me a temporary replacement so I'm ready for Halloween early. In the interest of full disclosure, I'll post a picture of my "before" front teeth. When the new bridge arrives in a couple of days, I'll post that photo as well. I can't teach for a few days because I don't have my million-dollar smile and my speech isn't quite the same -- I whistle on the "s" words.
Last week, when I had front teeth, Phuong cooked pig heart and pig tongue for our dinner. Both were delicious and Phuong did an excellent job preparing them. I would recommend both, but some people might be turned off by the texture of the tongue, although I had no problem with it.
I had good mojo with my classes last week, and even won a bet with a student about kilos and pounds. I mentioned that a kilo is 2.2 pounds, and a student nicknamed John was sure I was wrong and agreed to a bet, which, of course, I won. After all, I'm the teacher. The student is a great guy and the class is super awesome, so we had a good laugh over it and I tried to moon walk to celebrate.
A couple weeks ago a few students at a company annoyed me a little, asking me if I had been drinking beer before class because I was red. A little miffed, I told them I had just ridden 30 minutes on the back of a bike to class in 95-degree heat, that I grew up in a country that has cold weather, that I'm a big man, and that I'm not Vietnamese and acclimated to the conditions here. They laughed, and I don't know why.
Phuong beat me for the tennis championship last Friday, 6-3, and she followed that up by trouncing me 6-0. Man, I was pissed. But give me time, and I'll come up with the perfect excuse for my loss.
We do have crazy neighbors -- an old Italian guy and his younger Vietnamese girlfriend. They scream and yell at each other every day and throw trash out the fourth-floor window. We got fed up one day -- I yelled at them to take their stupid fights outside and Phuong left a note by the door telling them to stop throwing trash out the window.
I got an X-ray of my messed-up teeth for the dentist. That was interesting -- the X-ray room has paint chipping off the walls and a metal bed. Other than an X-ray machine, that was it. The X-ray guy had me hold the X-ray plate in place with my thumb, and he put me in a semi-sit-up position for my photo op. I guess the photo was OK. The price was certainly right -- $1.50 USD.
I gave the X-ray to the dentist on Friday, and she yanked out my crumbling bridge (top, front, four teeth) on Sunday. The process was surprisingly painless, but she didn't give me a temporary replacement so I'm ready for Halloween early. In the interest of full disclosure, I'll post a picture of my "before" front teeth. When the new bridge arrives in a couple of days, I'll post that photo as well. I can't teach for a few days because I don't have my million-dollar smile and my speech isn't quite the same -- I whistle on the "s" words.
Last week, when I had front teeth, Phuong cooked pig heart and pig tongue for our dinner. Both were delicious and Phuong did an excellent job preparing them. I would recommend both, but some people might be turned off by the texture of the tongue, although I had no problem with it.
I had good mojo with my classes last week, and even won a bet with a student about kilos and pounds. I mentioned that a kilo is 2.2 pounds, and a student nicknamed John was sure I was wrong and agreed to a bet, which, of course, I won. After all, I'm the teacher. The student is a great guy and the class is super awesome, so we had a good laugh over it and I tried to moon walk to celebrate.
A couple weeks ago a few students at a company annoyed me a little, asking me if I had been drinking beer before class because I was red. A little miffed, I told them I had just ridden 30 minutes on the back of a bike to class in 95-degree heat, that I grew up in a country that has cold weather, that I'm a big man, and that I'm not Vietnamese and acclimated to the conditions here. They laughed, and I don't know why.
Phuong beat me for the tennis championship last Friday, 6-3, and she followed that up by trouncing me 6-0. Man, I was pissed. But give me time, and I'll come up with the perfect excuse for my loss.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Crumbling teeth, hip pointer, wet rides; no worries
Phuong and I were eating chicken wings for lunch the other day when I bit on something that felt like glass. I spit out the white, porcelain-like material and thought it was bone. Make that ...hoped it was bone. Wrong. It was my front tooth. The material was enamel, or something like that. I have a bridge of four fake, front, top teeth. For 38 years or so the bridge gave me a Tom Cruise smile, or so I thought. Now I look like a minor league hockey player. My front teeth are falling apart, so I'm rolling the dice and having a Vietnamese dentist replace my bridge. The good news is that Phuong knows the dentist, and the dentist is a woman. I like Vietnamese women because they're direct and practical. The dentist is going to "fix me up" later in October, so I hope to return to the United States in November looking like Tom Cruise again -- or no worse than Mr. Ed. Looks don't mean much at this stage of my life, but I want to be able to chew until Phuong puts me in the Dong Nai River.
September and October have been extremely rainy this year. It always rains as I'm leaving for work or traveling between assignments on a bike. Last week, storm Number 3 (the storms get numbers here) slammed into me while I was on the back of a bike going from my first class at a sneaker company to my second class at our home office. The rain and wind was so severe my driver stopped the bike. We waited a few minutes and the rain got more intense, flooding the streets because the drains are filled with litter. So we got back on the bike and sloshed our way to my second of three classes that night. The ride usually takes 20 to 30 minutes. That night it took 55 minutes because we had to detour to avoid flooding. I arrived soaking wet to class, 20 minutes late. My students looked at me like I was some guy with giant front teeth. They had no pity for the White Monkey even though my shoes squished when I walked. It was still raining when class finished, and I had to ride my bike to another site for my third class. Not a good night, but I got through. I woke up sick the next day, but Phuong made me soak my feet in warm salt water for half an hour. Son of a gun, I got better immediately and instantly resumed my cigarette smoking with no ill effects, other than the usual ill effects from cigarette smoking.
I took a nasty fall in tennis a week ago. Phuong hit the ball toward my man zone and I tried some fancy footwork to hit a winner at the net. I promptly fell on my right hip ... hard. Bone met hardcourt and hardcourt won that point. A lesser man, for example Hercules, would have stopped playing. I continued and won the title that day on one leg. The hip is slowly improving. My friend Ron diagnosed my injury -- from thousands of miles away during a skype chat -- as a hip pointer. I ice it after we play every day and all seems to be going fairly well other than an odd popping sound in my hip when I bend over. I've stopped bending over. Today, I charged the net on one point and Phuong hit the ball extremely hard and it went between my legs, missing the man zone by mere inches. We're still laughing and it's nine hours later. The match ended in a 6-6 tie, by the way.
Classes are very good, the students are very good, and Phuong is the greatest human being in the known universe. I can't wait to marry her. There's some work left to do for this to happen, but I'll save that for another blog. So this gap-toothed, hobbling White Monkey is quite content.
September and October have been extremely rainy this year. It always rains as I'm leaving for work or traveling between assignments on a bike. Last week, storm Number 3 (the storms get numbers here) slammed into me while I was on the back of a bike going from my first class at a sneaker company to my second class at our home office. The rain and wind was so severe my driver stopped the bike. We waited a few minutes and the rain got more intense, flooding the streets because the drains are filled with litter. So we got back on the bike and sloshed our way to my second of three classes that night. The ride usually takes 20 to 30 minutes. That night it took 55 minutes because we had to detour to avoid flooding. I arrived soaking wet to class, 20 minutes late. My students looked at me like I was some guy with giant front teeth. They had no pity for the White Monkey even though my shoes squished when I walked. It was still raining when class finished, and I had to ride my bike to another site for my third class. Not a good night, but I got through. I woke up sick the next day, but Phuong made me soak my feet in warm salt water for half an hour. Son of a gun, I got better immediately and instantly resumed my cigarette smoking with no ill effects, other than the usual ill effects from cigarette smoking.
I took a nasty fall in tennis a week ago. Phuong hit the ball toward my man zone and I tried some fancy footwork to hit a winner at the net. I promptly fell on my right hip ... hard. Bone met hardcourt and hardcourt won that point. A lesser man, for example Hercules, would have stopped playing. I continued and won the title that day on one leg. The hip is slowly improving. My friend Ron diagnosed my injury -- from thousands of miles away during a skype chat -- as a hip pointer. I ice it after we play every day and all seems to be going fairly well other than an odd popping sound in my hip when I bend over. I've stopped bending over. Today, I charged the net on one point and Phuong hit the ball extremely hard and it went between my legs, missing the man zone by mere inches. We're still laughing and it's nine hours later. The match ended in a 6-6 tie, by the way.
Classes are very good, the students are very good, and Phuong is the greatest human being in the known universe. I can't wait to marry her. There's some work left to do for this to happen, but I'll save that for another blog. So this gap-toothed, hobbling White Monkey is quite content.
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