Leaving wonderful Vietnam soon

I am winding down my time in Vietnam, visiting the usual places I go to, and trying to say goodbye to people who don't understand anything I say, including hello and goodbye. My plan is to return, but you know how plans are. Doctors and others will determine what happens next. Who knows? Who cares?
I want to single out some extra wonderful people I've met here. If I spell the names wrong, I don't care. My name gets messed up all the time, too. Here are the folk who were special to me.
-- All the students. Even the unruly ones and the ones who hated Mr. John. They made my time in Vietnam wonderful and occasionally challenging. I loved it.These guys are the future, and I'm happy about that. Some of them even learned a little English along the way. Maybe. And remember, students: Ladies first.
-- Win (Nguyen), Chin (Chinh) and the other nice staffers at VMG. They have been helpful throughout, even with my whining and complaining.
--Mr. Tu, the security guard. He watched my bike, and slept next to me after my accident. And he bummed countless cigarettes from me, which reduced my smoking. He's a quality man. Really. (And there's also Joy, who calls me Sunshine, and is really a great teacher and mentor.)
.-- Phuong Duc, the HSBC lady who keeps my money right. She's very pleasant and helpful.
-- The lady who runs the coffee shop next to VMG. Her prices are great. She accepts my tip with a smile (and deserves it) and she says THANK YOU (in Vietnamese, of course, but it's still thank you). And I've never seen her pick her nose.
-- The staff at the Khanh Dang hotel. Great folk. A rat, yes, a rat, ran across my foot at my old apartment/hot box (my fault because the front door was open due to the oppressive heat). That would never happen at the Khanh Dang (I hope). I am told that rats are pretty common, sometimes, and like to visit Americans.
-- The girls who massage my head. They're nice and they do a good job. My brainless head feels fine, especially after the massage.
-- The ladies at the little stand where I get greasy chicken and fish squares. All deep-fried, of course.
-- All the strangers who were nice to me (of course, I like them).  And the nice people at ABC bakery, where I would get a taste of home once a week.
-- If I forgot you, it's because I'm brainless, but I still want to say thanks to you and everyone.

Now for the good stuff -- the things I won't miss when I return to the United States.
-- The really quick way people say NO. Some people will say NO before you finish your request. People say no and what I want is right behind them, three feet away. The double hand-shaking by the head to say NO can be rough at first for the foreigner, who doesn't always understand it.
-- The SARS masks. It's a personal thing. I just don't like them, although they do serve a purpose. I saw a woman wearing a SARS mask inside her car with the windows rolled up.
-- Fish oil. It's everywhere and served with everything, even meat and chicken and eggs. And it smells like ... fish.
-- The beef and lack of quality sharp cheese. On the plus side, the lack of these items keeps your weight down.
-- The heat and humidity. But that's not anybody's fault. It's just geography.
-- Cell phones and talking in the movie theaters. (Wait, that happens in the U.S. all the time). 

See, that wasn't too bad. The time here has been well-spent, even with the little -- and expensive -- motorbike mishap. It turns out my skull wasn't fractured (a look at the records show), but I did have some internal bleeding. At least I think that's the case. Who knows? Who cares? I've come to understand the motorbike and how traffic works here, so that's neither good nor bad. It's just how it is.
The people here are honest and direct and very good-hearted. Those are three qualities I admire in any culture.

A great day for teachers

Teachers' day in Vietnam is a big deal. In fact, teachers are a pretty big deal here. Nov. 20 is Teachers' day, and students bring flowers, food and gifts for all the teachers. Even the ones with no brains from the United States. I was the beneficiary of this kindness Tuesday. One class, which I just started teaching, brought me three roses. My second class of the evening, which I've taught for a while, brought me a cake, statue and incredible flower arrangement. I love these guys. They said they were also celebrating my upcoming birthday. Actually, I think they were celebrating the fact I'm going back to the USA in early December. I ruined the celebration by telling the students I was coming back to Vietnam in January. Seriously, I think we genuinely like each other (or at least I like them.) They're relatively new to English but they're catching on fast. We enjoyed the cake and soda and each other's company. I think they wanted to go sing karaoke after class but I don't really like to sing.. Karaoke is hugely popular here. There are karaoke parlors on every corner and they're packed. Kind of like "clubs" and discos in the U.S. in the early 80's. All Vietnamese women believe they can sing, and they sound pretty good really -- compared to me. Fingernails on a chalkboard sound good compared to me as well. You almost have to be able to sing to speak this language -- in my opinion.
I've booked my flight to the U.S., of course, and my ex-wife told me the airline I'm flying to the U.S. is dreadful. Luckily, it's only 21-plus hours in the air. I'm very much looking forward to seeing my children. I can't wait to see friends and a couple of doctors as well.
We had a very nice Teachers' day party at VMG school with awards and food. I think I was voted the teacher with the smallest brain. Winning is everything to an American :).
The hot rainy season is slowing down, and the hot hot season is kicking in.
I left the apartment/hot box I was living in and moved to the Khanh Dang Hotel nearby. It's the hotel with dynamite air conditioning, so life is good now. I had three "minor" motorbike accidents while moving. A guy pushed his bike in front of me as I was going down the street and I took off his fender. Since it was his fault, I waived ... and took off. A guy wasn't paying attention on my side street and broad-sided me. Just a bruise, so I waived ... and took off. I nicked the side of a bike in my alley (all my fault) and the family came running outside to see what happened. Man, did I get the evil eye. But one guy was really cool, and helped load all the crap back on my bike, and then said no worries. So I waived ... and took off. My camera was taken in the move as well. I go through cameras like tissues.
As much as I can't wait to get back to the U.S. for a while, I'll really miss the students here and I'll really miss teaching. I wish I had gone into teaching earlier, like 35 years ago, but there's a whole bunch of stuff I wish I could change. So what's the point.

What's the difference?

Anyone from the West planning to visit or teach English in Vietnam really should be aware of the cultural differences. The thing is: The differences are ever-shifting. Workers (that's what employed people call themselves here) at some coffee shops or chicken stands view a tip as an insult. In fact, they won't accept extra money. But moments earlier, they reached into your wallet to make sure you paid the proper amount. If your tip is accepted, which it is sometimes, a handful of workers then expect a tip all the time from you and become indignant when you don't tip. And I'm a regular at these places.
Money is something of an obsession here, which is understandable in a country where there isn't a lot of money floating around. When I've met people, they've asked on quite a few occasions: ''How are you? Where do you live? How much is the rent? Where do you teach? How much do you make? I like your haircut; how much did you pay for it?" I guarantee you'll get these questions. But the people here are very nice, and incredibly helpful and generous. So I dance around the tough questions and change the subject. "Sure is hot today," I'll say. Weather is usually free. After a short game of dodge ball, they'll get the idea that I'm not talking money. These are wonderful, decent people.
Expect brutal honesty here. I'll bring my beloved students a treat, and they'll complain it's not chocolate, or that they wanted something salty, not sweet.  Usually I can wear them down and they'll take it, but some students stick to their principles and refuse my offer. I try to use this as a teaching moment, and tell the students that when someone offers them a treat, they should say thanks, take it, and then give it away or toss it if they don't like it. I don't know, maybe the students are right.
I'm doing my best to introduce "ladies first" -- something my mom drilled into me -- and I've actually had some success. I make sure girls get the first pick of crayons, and that they get to leave the classroom first. It wasn't easy because line-cutting is a way of life here. No one has ever really yielded to me, or given me the right of way, on the motorbike. It's dog eat dog (and people really do eat dog here).
At one time, I planned to leave Vietnam and quit my job at VMG. But that's not going to happen ... I hope. VMG has been very good to me and Vietnam kind of gets under your skin in a good way. And the students are absolutely awesome. Really. The kids learn lightning-fast, the teens are, well, cool teens, the university students are extraordinarily bright, and the adult students are very serious about improving their English. There's going to be cultural bumps along the way. After all, I'm a pasty-white, stubborn American. But I'm learning the culture here better. I hope the students are learning some English.
I'm returning to the U.S. for much of December and January to see family and friends. Then I'll return to Vietnam and VMG to hopefully resume teaching. Sounds like a plan.