My final blog post should give everyone a break

 This is the final post of my blog, which I've been writing more than 11 years. Enough is enough -- for me and I'm sure for anyone still reading. I'm tired, and so's my prose. At my age, I need to focus entirely on our family and staying healthy enough on the doorstep of 68 to raise two remarkable children with my wife. My daughter will be starting school soon and will need my full support. My son gets more energetic and challenging each day. Doing anything well requires time and commitment, and I have neither for writing a blog at this point. So, here are some final thoughts:
* I want to use this space to apologize to anyone and everyone I've ever offended in person or in print, or in any way, really. I'm sorry, although I realize this means little now. But since I can't turn back the clock, I'll live with my offenses and try to be a better person as I play the end game. 
* Life in Vietnam has given me a remarkable wife and two fantastic children. I know I'm very fortunate and probably don't deserve what I've got now (but I'll take it). The amount of time I've been able to spend with my children, especially my daughter Joanna, has changed my outlook, perspective and attitude. My limited vocabulary prevents me from describing how amazing and life-altering Joanna, my son Elijah and wife Phuong have been for me. (My therapist has contributed as well.)
* I'm living in the land of hurry up. I'm not sure what the hurry is here and why people feel compelled to get ahead of someone else. A handful of cars have politely stopped when they see me crossing the road with one of my children in a white-striped "zebra", but motorbikes and other cars will race around the Good Samaritan and almost hit us. This kind of stuff happens in every country, I'm sure. It happened to me in Peru when I taught there, and in the U.S. when I lived there. Traffic and line-cutting can be real downers.
* Last week I took Joanna swimming and she insisted I take her to a fish shop about a mile away. I don't know the place well but the guy working there looked rough. He banged into me carrying buckets and glared. I stayed outside while Joanna went inside to look at fish, and I hear that guy SCREAMING, and it turns out he's SCREAMING at Joanna. Some woman who also works there starts to usher Joanna out the door. I ask "why?" in Vietnamese because I obviously want to know what happened. The woman just laughs, and Joanna insists she didn't touch anything. Joanna asked me "why did that man yell at me?"  The guy then starts SCREAMING at both of us, motioning aggressively for us get out. I tell him to F-off and take Joanna away. The man starts to charge toward me and the woman gets between him and me and my daughter. This guy looks like he may have spent much of his life incarcerated and I suspect he wouldn't think twice about severely injuring or perhaps killing someone like me in a fight. If my daughter was doing something awful in the store, normal protocol would be to ask her dad to take her out of the store. That doesn't happen here. Joanna has been barked at in a bakery, supermarket, at a pool, pharmacy, coffee shop and fish shop for being overly inquisitive or touching things she probably shouldn't have been touching. Easier to yell or bark at a child, I guess, even when her dad is present. This ignorant behavior from "grown-ups" creates conflict. It's lazy and not real bright, either.
* But for every bully there are so many more people in Vietnam who are friendly, kind and giving. I recently tried to help a young man with his English for a visa interview, and his parents gave me wonderful honey with exotic tea. Other students have given lobster, clothing, coffee mugs. Folks here love to give regardless of how much or how little they have. That's what's impressive. Neighbors share with each other constantly.  My daughter often says: "Sharing is about giving, not taking." (She got that from a video.) People here share. Many people smile at me and my children whenever we're out. They compliment my daughter or son when we go walking. (Sometimes they'll ask how old my "son" is when I'm with Joanna, but no worries. They mean well and that's what counts.) Good stuff all the way around. And more positve news: litter is down considerably here with the presence of more trash cans in parks and on the streets. Better restaurants are opening, meaning more food that I'm used to is available. Damn foreigners.
* There are too many people to mention who've been helpful and important to me. Some won't even speak to me, but they've been a positive influence nonetheless. ... I finish with a little more than 80,000 all-time hits on the blog. My Kindle reading streak is at 964 days in a row. I haven't had a drink in 32 months and a cigarette in over five years. I know .... those are just numbers. But for me they're important because I've learned that the past doesn't have to control the present or future. We can take control with what we do now. Thanks for reading, everyone. See you on the other side.  L8R

Camera shy rat; purrfect 'catfish;' swim progress

 My daughter spotted a rat at one of our outdoor coffee shops while we drank bac xiu, a very mild coffee with lots of condensed milk; it's called white coffee. I let Joanna have one with me.  Coffee, not rat. I wanted to get a picture of the rat as it ran across a little bridge, but my cell phone logs me out constantly for security reasons, so I only got the tail end of rat in the photo. We got up and began a rat hunt, and my hawk-eyed daughter saw the rat under a stone step near the bridge. This rat looked like it was on its last legs. And that's usually the case when a rat exposes itself in an area with people. Joanna tried to warn the fish about the rat. So cute. Rats are excellent swimmers and can tread and go under water for extended periods of time. I got a poor quality photo of the runaway rat with my phone, and Joanna recorded the incident the next morning with help from Art for Kids Hub on YouTube. Kim Koi 2, the coffee shop near our house that had a lot of fish, closed again, meaning all the little canals are being dug out. The constant tearing down and building up of failed businesses and construction of new businesses in Bien Hoa creates so much construction dust and grit. No wonder my porous skin is a mess and I have to sweep out the kids bedrooms every day. I end the job with sizeable piles of dust and grit. My wife never wears shoes in the house, but with back, foot and leg issues, sometimes I'll keep my shoes on -- because I forget (ha ha). I never go near the kids beds with my shoes on, so the dust and grit just seem to appear.
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We had a lovely meal at Hong Kong Seafood near our house. A "catfish" my daughter has been insisting on for a little while was the star of the show. The reason for the quote marks around catfish is that I'm not totally sure it was a catfish (Vietnamese name for the fish is ca lang vang.). The white meat was quite good and my daughter enjoyed every bite. So did I, for that matter. The fish was deep-fried and gently seasoned, making the crunchy exterior a savory heart attack on a plate. My daughter and I ate the whole dang fish. My son Elijah, after wandering and breaking some dishes at another table, settled down and really got into his crab and noodle dish. We've had good luck at this restaurant since my wife started coming with me and Joanna. No one speaks acceptable English there, but the service is decent in any language. Along with the Bay Leaf Indian Restaurant, our eating out needs are being met very well.
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My daughter and I took a week off from swimming since I wasn't well, but when we returned my daughter decided she could put her head under water for longer periods of time. That's a big improvement from just a week ago, when a fall into the water at a coffee shop a while back made her skittish about going under ... My Kindle book Ancient Greece From Prehistoric to Hellenistic Times doesn't scrimp on facts and details, but it is holding my interest at the midway point. Interesting to note the book says Aristotle stated that slavery was natural because there were people who lacked the capacity to be free agents, and that a slave was "sort of a living possession."  ... Prices are rising here, but apparently not as fast as in the U.S. 

Communication breakdown; new age for my daughter

 The complexities and subtleties of the Vietnamese language can create many misunderstandings. Even among the Vietnamese. My wife went to a pharmacy to get stomach medicine for her very ill husband (that would be me) and she took our daughter with her. My wife explained my difficulties to the pharmacist. The pharmacist seemed unsure who was getting the medicine, my daughter or me. My wife said she assured the pharmacist that her husband was the one who was ill. The pharmacist gave my wife a packet of three doses of five pills -- 15 pills in all -- for about $1 U.S. (20,000 Vietnamese dong).  Medicine is often doled out by pharmacists here in large quantities, even for kids. Apparently, the pharmacist thought the medicine was for my daughter, meaning the strength of the medicine wasn't up to snuff for my problems. My wife went to another pharmacy, where the pharmacist chuckled and told her the previous medicine was kids' stuff. I survived after three days of being pretty ill with the help of the new medicine, and I can't imagine what would have happened if I had gone to the pharmacy instead of my wife, who made multiple trips. I've had similar but less serious misunderstandings in the past: a bra instead of shoelaces; vitamins instead of band aids; I'm told no rice in a store with sacks of rice; hot drinks instead of cold drinks and vice-versa. I accept when people don't understand my Vietnamese; I don't speak it well at all and there's not a lot of effort and leeway in comprehension. It's all part of being a stranger and strange in a foreign land. I've been fortunate to find good eye and dental care here, especially the eye care.
* * *
Saturday was a wonderful day for our family because we celebrated our daughter Joanna's 6th birthday. She was excited, happy and had a great day. Joanna and I walked to Linh Da to get a cake, and we had a hot dog at the Japanese Bakery next door to Linh Da. I took my walking stick for health reasons and to ensure safe travel on the sidewalk and across the streets, and the stick worked its magic: an incident-free walk. My daughter is enjoying her extended homeschool break, and she's anxiously waiting to start class at a private school here in the middle of August. We're leveraging the new school and turning 6 to improve our daughter's behavior and listening skills. So far so good. Joanna and her brother Elijah, 2, are beginning to develop something of a bond, especially when it comes to jumping off and climbing up furniture. Like his sister, Elijah loves books, and I can read 25 stories a day to him sometimes, with some books getting multiple reads, of course. Joanna and I are reading Charlotte's Web together (again), but this time she's doing a lot of the reading. 
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Currently reading Ancient Greece From Prehistoric to Hellenistic Times by Thomas R. Martin. I don't read this to Joanna or Elijah, but it's pretty good stuff and I haven't even hit the juicy parts yet.  I'm at 945 days in a row of Kindle reading. Addiction can be wonderful if channeled in the proper direction. ... I'm good for maybe a few more blogs before halting these posts after 11-plus years. I need a break to focus entirely on taking care of a girl, 6, and boy, 2. 

Recalling trip to Hong Kong's Jumbo Floating Restaurant

 When my wife and I visited Hong Kong seven years ago in an effort to boost her chances of getting a U.S visa, we hit all the highlights: a Disney theme park, a huge aquarium, wax museum and tons of restaurants. One of the restaurants where we dined was the iconic Jumbo Kingdom, or Jumbo Floating Restaurant. The restaurant has entertained famous people like Bruce Lee, Jimmy Carter and Tom Cruise. Last week on CNN I was shocked to see that the restaurant reportedly sank in the sea where it was towed for maintenance. The story about the sinking has become more muddled as time goes on.  I've read several online articles about the incident, one saying it's still afloat somewhere near the Paracel Islands. Conspiracy theories abound. Apparently, the owners have back-tracked on the sinking claim. One story that I can believe said that the restaurant was struggling financially since Covid, and the protests and unrest in Hong Kong. Insurance?  Unlikely, the news reports say. Anyway, I don't remember much about our meal -- it was OK I think -- but I recall all of us in the tour group getting into a little boat to get to the restaurant, which was designed like an imperial palace; our trip was whirlwind and we always seemed to be tired. No one knows or will say now exactly what, if anything, happened to the Jumbo Kingdom other than the fact a tugboat pulled it out to sea. The only thing that's certain to me is that my wife and I can say we ate there.

* * *
Vietnam is changing rapidly these days, mostly for the better. Many of the improvements are long overdue, such as public trash receptacles in parks and on the streets, or the ability to purchase with a bank card in some of the bigger retailers. The trash cans have reduced litter, which has reduced flooding since sewer drains aren't as clogged with discarded plastic. That's crucial this year since rainy season is prolific. The card purchases most likely have boosted spending by foreigners living here, especially on big-ticket items. I know I've bought more necessary items, such as hammocks and book shelves. Actually, the toaster oven I bought a while back is the most used item in the house, other than beds and bath soap. A new fridge is on the wish list and most certainly will be purchased if my wife doesn't get the waiver. There are so many more cars here now than when I first arrived, and most folks on bikes are smart enough to get out of their way. Bigger means right of way on the road. That's led to more bikes on sidewalks, probably out of necessity, which is unfortunate for me and my daughter, who are daily pedestrians, a real rarity here other than the women and few men who sell lottery tickets.  Line cutting persists, but not to the extent of even a few years back. Covid barriers helped cool off that obnoxious behavior to a small degree. The staring continues but no one has yelled f@#% you! at me for no reason in at least four months. Ah, let the changes and good times roll.
* * *
I'm wrapping up the book Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlansky. 931 days in a row of Kindle reading. The book was better than I initially stated, but I'm a little too obtuse for some of the details provided.  ... The Jumbo Floating Restaurant news got me thinking about another site we visited which was tragically in the news: the Erawan Shrine in Bangkok was the site of a 2015 bombing that killed 20 people. ... My daughter is close to being able to swim, but progress is slow. She remains a little spooked by deep water since falling in a fish pond at a coffee shop. Understandable. ... I saw Roe v. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court and that same-sex marriage, contraception and other rulings may be in jeopardy. I'm also following the Jan. 6 hearings and war in Ukraine. No wonder I enjoy watching BabyTV so much with my 2-year-old son and daughter.

We get 4th Covid shot; I pull struggling girl out of pool

My wife and I got our fourth Covid vaccine dose. We debated if we really wanted or needed another shot, but since I'm approaching 68, have had some lung issues, and live in a city with dirty air where masks are becoming less fashionable, the debate was a short one. I didn't even feel the needle go in, but I developed some real tenderness in my shoulder that evening. It disappeared after two days. No other side-effects noted. I've said it before: I'll be a human pin cushion if it keeps me out of a hospital. My wife had the same shoulder soreness and some minor chills, but otherwise she's doing well.  Our soon-to-be 6-year-old daughter Joanna is next in line for a shot. Not sure about our 2-year-old son Elijah. I read where kids in the U.S. will be getting shots.  I would like our daughter to get jabbed before she starts school, either here or in the U.S. 
* * *
My daughter had floating devices on and was swimming widths last week in the bigger pool where we go. She swims well with floating devices because she doesn't have to keep her head under water for very long. This was the first time ever I stayed in my street clothes and didn't swim with her. So I'm squatting down next to the water talking to her, when a 12-year-old girl comes splashing toward us. Her mother stands next to me and is shouting to the girl, who starts to struggle a bit in the water. I see that the girl is in trouble about 4 or 5 feet from the side of  pool and starting to go under. Her mother is screaming at this point. I was hoping I wouldn't have to jump in the pool fully dressed with cell phone, shoes on and wallet in my pants to get the girl to safety. Nonetheless, I was certainly willing even though I'm a very mediocre swimmer. Just as I was ready to leap, the girl surfaced. I yelled for her to reach for my extended hand, which she did. I grabbed her hand and arm, and pulled her out of the pool. The girl just walked away coughing, and she seemed a little angry and perhaps embarrassed; I have no idea since the girl and her mother spoke zero English. The mom thanked me profusely in Vietnamese. A short time later, the girl played with my daughter in the kids pool, then returned to swim in the big pool's deep end. I don't know what to make of the whole deal. One of the reasons I didn't swim that day was that there were 28 kids in the pools, splashing, jumping, frolicking, and so on. Joanna wants the interaction, even if it's awkward due to language. She enjoys playing chase and race with the kids, but really hates being grabbed, and she's not afraid to make that point to any kid of any age, or adults as well. In fact, she hates being touched by anyone she doesn't know, and will let whoever touches her know she doesn't like it or want it. I encourage, love and respect my daughter's strong character.
* * *
Reading Salt by Mark Kurlansky, and it's becoming a slog. I like the substance and have mildly high blood pressure to prove it, but the book, while very interesting in parts, has a textbook flavor, so to speak. The facts and details are piled on high and are overwhelming at times. Like everything else in the world, Kindle is getting more expensive, so obviously I'll finish to keep my Kindle reading streak going (it's at 922 days in a row) and get my money's worth. ... I found a decent restaurant near our house, Hong Kong Seafood, and our whole gang walked there Thursday for dinner. We had shrimp, octopus, ribs, black eggs and tofu, and garlic with some kind of  cooked lettuce ... thanks to my wife, who did all the ordering and talking in this one-language eatery. The last time I went there with my daughter I got scallops and tofu that was put in to-go boxes, which wasn't my intention, so we ate out of the boxes at our table in the restaurant. The food was OK, but expensive, and the experience was weird. That wasn't the case with my wife there. ... I got my precocious daughter a hammock as an early birthday present and she loves it. Not even 6 years old yet and she understands chillin'.

Kid who snatched my credit card off counter tracked down

 I took my daughter on our weekly field trip to Vincom mall on Thursday and did some shopping. I purchased clothes, toys and food. My biggest load of purchases came at the bookstore, nearly 800,000 Vietnamese dong (about $40 U.S.) for some books for my son Elijah and daughter Joanna, paper, and toys. This is one of the few stores in Bien Hoa that allows me to pay with my debit card with a chip. I gave the clerk my card while another clerk and I examined a computerized sketchpad I bought to see what kind of battery it needs. While we fiddled with the sketchpad, a boy about 7 or 8 comes up and starts hugging me, acting a little strange. I sent him away and reassembled the sketchpad. While this was all happening, the clerk laid my credit card on the counter. After everything was put away and bagged, the clerk asks for my credit card again. I don't have it, I told her ... you had it. The clerk started looking, and then her search got a little more frantic. Three other clerks joined the search and the card was nowhere to be found. We emptied the five bags I had with me, looked under the counter and behind the counter. No card. I checked my wallet three times. No card. Then the manager said she would check the security camera. She came back right away and said the boy had taken it off the counter. Immediately, the security guard and three store employees fanned out through the mall. After an agonizing wait, one of the girls came back into the store and signaled they got the boy and card. I can't express my relief, since the card is my only source of cash here and it's nearly impossible to get a replacement sent into Vietnam from the U.S. Actually, the boy's father (I guess) came into the store and handed me the card, with no apology or anything, just a silly smirk on his face. And away they went. My daughter Joanna was remarkably patient through the whole ordeal. For some reason I thought about all the times people have scolded Joanna by using harsh or sharp tones for something "horrible" she had done: touching a fish on ice in a supermarket; leaving her shoes (like everyone else) in front of the shoe rack at the swimming pool; opening a glass door at a bakery to get a closer look at a fancy cake. Nobody said boo to the boy or his dad to my knowledge, and the boy took a credit card off a counter. Interesting world and times we live in ... Regardless of my percieved inequities, I want to thank the store employees for their grit and effort in getting my card back to me. Thanks, ladies, you were wonderful. Earlier, I won a stuffed pig and candy for Joanna at the video room playing one of those impossible claw machines. Turned out to be an OK day. 
* * *
It can be awkward for me when the pool we go to is crowded. A lot of kids want to practice their English, which means sometimes I'm being interviewed while I try to watch my daughter. I'm in the pool with Joanna 95 percent of the time, but the 5 percent breather or bathroom break is when the kids will usually pounce. Sometimes they try to talk when I'm in the pool, but I'll just go under water or hack around with Joanna. Often, parents will push their kids to approach me for speaking practice. I don't mind so much, but I really do need to keep an eye on my daughter, who's a bit of a risk-taker, which I don't like around water. When she wears floaties I breathe easier, but she's getting braver as she gets closer to being able to swim. One 11-year-old boy was firing a lot of questions at me and I saw that his mom was video recording the conversation. I have to wear a tiny Speedo here because it's the only suit in my size -- I've got a body like W.C. Fields these days and don't really appreciate being surreptitiously recorded. And I don't really appreciate the mirror in the bathroom when I change into the Speedo. Anyway, I put up a towel to block the video recording and the lady and her friends said sorry multiple times. It was all good-natured but I'd still like to know if someone is recording so I could say no thanks until I get in shape again.
* * *
I don't expect a ruling anytime soon on my wife's waiver application to get a visa to enter the U.S. As a result, I'm considering enrolling my daughter in an expensive private school in Bien Hoa, the only English-only school in town. We visited the campus and were impressed, and Joanna seemed to like it as well. 
* * *
I took my daughter to Ho Chi Minh City for an eye appointment, and the doctor said her vision and eyes are in tip-top shape , unlike her dad. Those were his words, not mine.

Delays in visa bid; fewer masks; distressing times

The date for a decision on my wife's waiver request for a U.S. visa  keeps getting moved back. We hoped to find out as soon as possible after the USCIS acknowledged receiving the waiver request Oct. 28, 2021. At one point, the USCIS web site indicated a decision was possible in late June. Then the date changed to late July; now it's late September. This means our daughter may have to start first grade in Vietnam. The only all-English school in town carries a hefty price tag approaching $20,000 U.S. dollar a year. I've been homeschooling, but I've seen the importance of peers for my daughter's development. She was doing fine with swimming lessons I provided at the pool but was reluctant to put her head under water. I didn't push it. Maybe she was shook up by her fall into a fish pond at a local coffee shop. But when she saw other kids at the pool swimming under water, she lost that reluctance and went under a bunch of times. I believe a little positive peer influence and competition would be invaluable for her.
* * *
Masks seem to be becoming a little irrelevant here, with more people exposing their faces. Perhaps the importance of selfies is playing a role in this. My daughter and I continue to wear masks whenever we go out, which is every day for several hours. We'll walk close to 3 miles round trip for swimming or fish watching at Lido or wherever. Vietnam recorded just over 1,000 Covid cases and no deaths on Sunday. By comparison, North Korea had 100,000 new 'fever' cases but only one death, which is amazing if true. I'm hoping to get a fourth Covid vaccine shot just to be safe.
* * *
I've backed away from watching the news, which is so distressing lately. The Texas shooting upset us greatly; we have a little girl of school age. I was a substitute teacher for a day in a predominately Hispanic class of second graders in California a long time ago, and I remember how sweet the kids were; there was very little English spoken in the class. The war in Ukraine continues with death, destruction and atrocities. There's no end in sight and the repercussions can be felt throughout the world. At least Covid seems less intense except in North Korea, which keeps lobbing missiles into the sea .... Changing to a lighter topic, we've had serious rain daily for over a week. This, I assume, is what a real rainy season is like. .... I got a chilly (that's the spelling on the menu) chicken roll at Bay Leaf Restaurant on Vo Thi Sau and it was outstanding. Every dish I've ordered there has been excellent. .... My Kindle reading streak passed 900 days in a row. I'm at 905. If I get to 1,000 I may miss a day on purpose to keep things at a nice even number.
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I was hit twice in the past week by motorbikes while crossing the street with my daughter. No injuries for me and Joanna or the perpetrators either time. The first bump occured in the rain near The Coffee House. The rider must have really cut his left turn short as he came onto our street because he was in the wrong lane when he bopped me. Since we were past the center line holding umbrellas, I was looking the other way to make sure oncoming traffic didn't hit us, so I didn't see him coming. The impact was minor. I didn't get an apology. The second bump upset me a little more because the traffic light signaled for pedestrians to cross -- the little person lit up green which meant we should cross. I held up my left hand, which was holding a Bluetooth speaker I had just purchased (my right hand held my daughter's hand), just to be safe. Didn't matter because a cyclist banged into the hand and speaker as we legally and properly crossed the street in the zebra (white stripes). This impact shocked me a bit. The cyclist wouldn't make eye contact as I yelled at him about being blind and/or disrespectful, and he took off without looking back. A security guard sitting at a chicken joint on the corner thought the collision was hilarious. I'm not really sure what to do about these types of incidents. Hey, we're like the chicken and sometimes we have to get to the other side. I seemed to have fewer encounters with traffic when I carried my walking stick, but it's difficult to carry bread, pastries, fruit,  AND hold the stick AND my daughter's hand AND chew gum all at the same time. Since my back and foot are now functional, I can go without the stick. Besides, the walking stick makes me look like a fat, beardless Moses.